Eid gone awry!

The days of 31st August,1st September and 2nd September marked the Eid holidays for much of the Muslim population in world this year.And I have never ever felt the need to write about such an occasion ever since.Also I now in my early twenties have never ever felt worse sense of disconnect and in need of meaning my whole life.

Being brought up in a very new age traditional close knit suburban culture,my childhood Eids were as stereotypically colourful and joyous as one could ever imagine.Specially more so because I had been blessed with a very large  interconnected web of family and friends ,lived in a picturesque bungalow  where some distant uncle and cousins would visit every us every year,the  warmth, the cohesiveness was a total bliss.I remember that just after 15th Ramadan me and my sibling would go to buy around 30 Eid cards from everyone classmates,teachers,neighbours and handed them personally. It all seems very stupid to reminisce that time but it was very pleasantly innocent.My sister and cousins went to buy glass bangles  the night before Eid in an ridiculously crowded markets,then got henna designs on their hands.

Back in 90s when I was growing up the clothing had not taken the downtrodden faded look,everything was new crisp, colourful and  bright almost verging on the costumy side.We woke up in the morning said our prayers in big mosques with hundreds of people wearing those new clothes with stiff collars and tight buttonholes.When we used to visit our aunts’ and uncles’ homes their Eidi(money given as gift) although very meagre used to just fill our hearts with that top of the world kind of  satisfaction,giving  the ultimate sense of achievement and entitlement.The food,the sweets and all the games ,we the kids used to play when our parents used to talk big serious stuff in drawing rooms.

Now as I look back the times and the circumstances have drastically changed the traditional close knit web of family has somehow translated itself to be more of a curse which has rendered many of us tangled and distant emotionally as you no longer even talk to some of those relatives forgetting they even existed.The complexities of modern culture intermingling with traditional values has brought forth this new web of personal resentment, family disputes and these doubts of selfishness.There are fewer cards sent and more impersonal text messages being circulated not due to ease of technology but only because the people don't think others deserve that much of compassion and effort.The Eidis are also never big enough to be content with,now they are weighed and counted ,the reciprocation of giving to others depends upon how much they gave you in the first place.Clothing which was cornerstone and artefacts now all has to be practical and durable rather than festive and colourful because you suddenly start doing the maths of it all.

Lastly and maybe the most disappointing is the fact that when you grow up there are more fake smiles and uncomfortable hugs to strangers than those care free moments.You no longer frolic in the gardens and play silly games with friends and cousins in lawns.You sit in the drawing rooms/lounge  in fancy way of crossing your legs discussing politics,economics and out of all things how much each one of you is earning among other things over caffeinated beverages .Grownup girls gossip about illicit affairs and nasty girl issues.Boys turn to equally disturbing topics if not more.I guess Eids have gone awry because now its all about the money,the MEN and the marriages.I wish things remained carefree and simple as they were when we were  naive kids,little knowledge maybe a dangerous thing but when it comes to family and relationships a great deal of it certainly makes celebrations and festivities such as Eids awry.