Committed Ones & Monogamists

Its true all the good things in the world are either illegal or married. It has never been this hard to find a good one, not only there is a large pool but also because there is huge amount of mediocre fondness. There is lack of that wow,or at least that’s how I see it. Dating game has become  ever more complicated, and at times you wish you could just cut to the chase and give the potential suitors a questionnaire or checklist to fill fast-tracking the whole process.

So owing to above circumstances marrying once and living happily ever after hardly seems an achievable goal, because even if you marry someone like picking a random card and plan trying to stick with your choice your whole life. What if then halfway across  you find someone who is better? Should you try to commit to them? If yes should you keep the first one? and why? What If that third person is committed to someone else? Should you budge in and try to separate that person’s pair? Does competition improve service/product offering in this juxtaposition as well or is it plain hedonistic to even consider this? At least for me at this point of time  MONOGAMY hardly seems a practical solution, but no strings attached arrangements feel really demeaning as well.

For instance, choosing one of the two people for me  is very hard, primarily because they are completely different, trying to chose one of them is like apples and oranges and making a resolution to not  ever have the other fruit in future. Advocates  of ‘commitment movement’ often say that above feelings are just excuse/refuge for those scared of commitment. But I don’t really know if I’d like one of those fruits so much that I’d willing to forgo the other indefinitely. Can’t I have a little serving of both from time to time. What if I want to have something that someone else is having? For a person like me who  likes a  particular part of some one and hates the other parts, how can one imagine living with the same person for rest of the life.What if that good part suddenly takes a back seat and bad parts start taking centre stage and you end up hating ‘em.

Recently two of my social connections(both known for changing their romantic partners often) did something similar, one of them divorced his 4th partner and the other eloped with someone we had no idea about.Both gave reasons that they couldn’t do justice to their souls and  bare the thought of even loving  and honouring their existing relations anymore.Consider that ‘the first one’ has had 4 love marriages along with several affairs and ‘the eloped case’ has had at least 5 long term relationships and handful of other intimate partners.Which brings us to questions  i.e. How much is too much? and when is it enough?

So I wonder, are people who have a lot of breakups/divorces  really worse off than the rest of us?  No,rather they could be thought of as lab rats in this complex game of love and commitment issues. Crimes of passion and likes are much hyped BUT there are more gruesome crimes and misdemeanours that need ample attention.So to each his own.At the end of the day, everybody craves some security and commitment in their relationships,because even polygamy can ruffle a few feathers if it goes both ways, as ‘experimenting’ can be at the cost of faithfulness at times. So tell me folks How important is monogamy in today’s lives and how realistic of a goal is it?