AAMIRIAT - Life as I know it

Innocence lost

2012-01-09T23:11:00.001+05:00

Cheers to the amazingly life changing year that 2011 was,it was one of those years that you finally start ‘getting’ things as they are.If you had been reading my previous blog posts you would know that I learned a lot of lessons often in a hard way,but even these bad experiences have enriched me deeply and inculcated this new perspective,insights which I wouldn’t have got if I hadn’t lost my so called ‘Innocence’.

The year gone by was an ‘year of firsts’ for me in many,first time your heart skips a beat,first time you feel responsible for fates of many,the first time you act recklessly,first time you know for sure where you stand in a crowd of nameless faceless people and countless other inexplicable incidents .See the funny thing that happens when you grow up is that you suddenly become aware of all the taboos-things you can no longer afford to do, and that also things that you could have gotten away with ,back when you were this frail and innocent being.

By the way,during my brief stunt at work front,I got to experience that the whole horrible bosses thingy is a myth in fact.People are generally nice ,its just that at times our ulterior motives drive us to selfish things.Moreover not all heartbreak need to be gruesomely emotional and ugly ,at a certain point of time you just have to ‘man up’, you may not forgive faults but forgetting is the key ,Time has this uncanny ability to hide things,just as dust settling on books for long periods of time hides the title inscribed on them.Or maybe I have got numb experiencing all of this time and time again plain and simple.

So, it could be different for you, this is a fact that you never know how it feels until it happens to you and rips you apart.Now as every careless fun stage of life apparently comes to and end,there is this immense burden of societal expectations and personal aspirations,two things which in my case do not seem to be inline with each other.But after all this experimenting on professional and personal fronts, one thing is for sure I may still not now what I want out of it all but I do know what I don’t want.Which is truly remarkable achievement being the indecisive impulsive train wreck that I oft become.And I believe that the tables could turn anytime,often when we are least expecting em.

Innocence is indeed generally overrated and underappreciated in our society.I now realise that I didn’t always have to do the right thing,and be the right person,so I now decide to choose what feels right to me.One has to take chances,do things which didn’t feel right.As Beth Ditto song goes ‘the world is full good intentions,but Paradise is hard to find’.The world is not a place for angelic clean frail beings even the saints sin,so losing this whole facade like mirage does indeed open doors and broaden your horizons. Alongside we have to be very careful for what we wish for,as in my case what I often thought I needed turned out to be the terminal illness that could have taken me down.At the end of the day no one should have regrets or at bare minimum avoid such regretful choices.In conclusion,there is no point in keeping your innocence if it doesn’t do you any good , and even more so if its holding you back.

P.S. the graphic used is not mine

Political Roundup 2011

2011-12-20T15:05:00.001+05:00

As with every other year in Pakistan’s political history,this year was also very ‘crucial’ and presented a lot ‘delicate circumstances’.The most mind altering event of all was the killing of OBL in Pakistan, which subsequently ruffled a lot of feathers and left many of us bewildered and at times confused.A great lot debated whether this whole debacle even happened but the fact is it exists as an event in history ,it no longer matters what really happened in that big mansion in Abbotabad .The world somehow knows he was there and was subsequently killed.That’s it.It is this perception that matters now not the facts.

We also saw our CJ running around taking suo moto notices from mundane stuff like food+utilities prices to highly controversial yet pointless stuff like PCO judges and NRO,all of which boiled down to nothingness basically.Just a lot of men with pot bellies in drab ill-fitting black suits blabbering equally absurd and meaningless crap on media.There was Hajj pilgrimage corruption case ,flood in Sindh for second year in a row,then railways network was closing down and now even PIA planes being grounded.I guess we should all get Bata & Servis running shoes and start cross country marathons for travelling like the old days.

While the Arab peninsula was having Jasmine Revolution,in Pakistan we saw this emergence of this new ‘enlightened elite’ followers of former cricketer turned politician Imran Khan,with one particular follower complaining in about heat while protesting that went viral on Internet.And then there was this amazing show of power by huge ‘Jalsa’ in Lahore,that rattled the political veterans’ thrones so much some of them later joined the very party that was criticizing them.But what bothers me about Imran Khan is his lack actual operational plan,as his rhetoric is flagrantly optimistic and self glorifying which is at times on the verge of delusion and his empathy for talibanistic right wing .Even if he claims to change the system,it is the harsh reality that its ‘The Bureaucracy’ that will actually ‘do’ the dos so it is unlikely his dreams will materialize if at all.And also consider the fact that more than 60% of population resides in rural areas where a lot of people maynot even hear of him.

This year Pakistan suffered another major blow to its esteem when players of national cricket team were convicted of ‘spot fixing’,the scandal itself was quite demeaning but the way the players first denied and then resort to blaming each other was grossly shameful.

There were also these almost traditional waves of violence in the Karachi,where people were beheaded and put it into gunny bags,there were news of human slaughterhouses being discovered .Which was then followed by this dramatic accusations by former minister about another party’s alleged crimes.Then again it was CJ’s notice getting us nowhere.

In a country were there is less than 10% spent on education and health,it was only a change of weather that led to this catastrophic wave of dengue fever deaths,with at least 20 dying a week.People were practically confined to their houses slithering themselves with insect repellents as if it was musk oil.But what it all did was that it exposed our fragility in public policy and also our rulers’ apathy toward wellbeing of the citizens.Not only was the government not prepared,it didn’t know what to do about it when it was actually happening .Thankfully the weather changed and the deadly insect carrying the disease eventually fizzled out.

As in the years gone by the energy crisis persisted in 2011 as well,with industrialists and even civilians protesting.It was also the first time that gas load shedding took hold for the general populace.Nobody knows who is getting ‘gassed’ and by whom.

Towards the end of the year,NATO planes attacked and killed army men sparking rage in both civilian and army rulers but I couldn’t help and wonder that this killing was a big deal only because the ones killed were army people, then what about the common people being killed by drones and indigenous army operations? How was that somehow ok.It highlights the very important fact of our society that all human lives may be equal but army still is indeed more equal than others.NATO supply lines were subsequently blocked ,there was protest by our ‘fashion-savvy tranny-voiced’ Foreign Minister.Moreover drone attacks have stopped so it means there was some kind of agreement between them and our military that it let them do it in past.But lets see how long the army puts up with its billions of dollars of military aid blocked,a sane person cannot ignore the bitter truth that the US is biggest trade partner,biggest donor,and even FDI contributor.Our ‘Islamic brethren’ don’t even give us few days loan for petroleum import payments,so you know they wont stand by us in our rainy days.

There were these so non-controversial nude photos of actress Veena Malik for a magazine,which she first denied and then kinda accepted.What was really disturbing was the fact that people who were immensely hurt and enraged by her defiant ways in the day ,were searching the Internet and ogling the very photos at night.So it doesn’t matter whether she was right or wrong,at the end of day it did garner her a lot of publicity

The year ends with cracker busts by the name of ‘memo gate’,where someone from Pakistan is alleged to have written to US govt to protect against a possible military takeover against present democratic regime.There is a ‘judicial inquiry’ taking place, lets see how it progresses ,as it is still being brewed by our pseudo political analysts. but I am sure of one thing that is it won’t get anybody anywhere.its all like running in circles!

A flippant side of FASHION

2011-11-21T01:10:00.001+05:00

With back to back fashion shows, this past month was more than eventful to say the least. First there was the Karachi Fashion Week, then Bridal Couture Week and then the weekend marked the end of PFDC fashion week. Hoards of glitterati flocked to venues hoping to see some good clothes, to socialize with beautiful people and to amp up their otherwise banal lives. But after a few of these presentations you suddenly start feeling this urge to yawn, as after one or two of them all of the collections start to look very run of the mill and cliché.

As models started to parade down the runway one after another at KFW , one couldn’t help but notice that a lot of clothes lacked that savouir faire,there were western rip offs of Jennifer’s jumpsuits and poor finishing on garments, inconsiderate colour choices and some even resorted to sorry act blatantly copying other Pakistani colleagues as well (most notably new menswear brand copying the older collection of Munib Nawaz).At the couture week, it was battle of extravagance through and through with embellishments so fine and fabrics so regal that they sometimes outshined the actors that wore them. At the PFDC shows,veterans such as HSY and likes stuck to their tried and at times tired designs ,however there were some welcome exceptions ,most notably collections of some recently graduating fashion students and few others such as Khaadi Khaas,Ayesha Hashwani and Kamiar Rokni.Sadly all except few of designer’s lacked the commercial viability ,originality and at times even credibility to be there to present

Eponymous handful of veteran models such Nadia Hussain, Rabia butt and Faiza Ansari stole the show,with the exception of Iraj who at times was on the verge of ‘runway overkill’, the ever elusive Iman Ali graced one of the ramps,Reema ,Shaan and Wasim Akram also showed up as if we are not tired of watching them on every other TV channel .But all in all zombie-like walks of the newbies added much needed humor and highlighted the apparent lack of capacity building and training at model’s end pretty well.

To the press, organizers touted of portraying ‘softer image’, development of indigenous economy, opportunity for export promotion and blah blah. But what they said was utterly bull crap to me, as we all have heard this before, but at the end of the day their ‘claims’ have failed to materialize .We cannot continue to burry our heads n the sand like ostriches, not anymore at least. Just because we are having more shows it doesn’t mean the industry as a whole is prospering. Non- formalization of modeling contracts, Intellectual property rights violations, lack of sponsors/venture capitalists are some of the problems that still haunt. Moreover, by having worked in this industry I know for sure that having such shows won’t help the domestic textile industry in anyway because most of the designers use imported fabric from south east Asian countries or even worse illegally smuggled fabric from neighboring Afghanistan border.

Besides, its common knowledge that our fashion fraternity lacks the essential ‘espirit–de-corps’, however it should never mean that an industry with less than 100 designers/brands in just 3 cities, should have several representative bodies and hold numerous fashion weeks in a season, whenever their egos may desire. You can’t just have one for the sake of having one, if you want to be taken seriously and earn respect as a proper business and craft.

All of this pejorative write-up should not paint a pessimistic outlook, We all are quite aware of the fact that bridal couture, lawn series and T shirts sell like anything in Pakistan , and hopefully they will continue to do so in future as well

Given the unfavorable exchange rate and a decrease in purchasing power, I predict that the majority of fashion labels wont be viable in the long run if they continue to do business the way they do (by selling one or two avant-garde pieces ,moving to middle east or by selling designer lawn).We would have to reevaluate our business practices and probably our vision as a industry too, if we aim to continue doing the business or otherwise it could fizzle-out like IT bubble in Pakistan.

Committed Ones & Monogamists

2011-11-10T01:18:00.001+05:00

Its true all the good things in the world are either illegal or married. It has never been this hard to find a good one, not only there is a large pool but also because there is huge amount of mediocre fondness. There is lack of that wow,or at least that’s how I see it. Dating game has become ever more complicated, and at times you wish you could just cut to the chase and give the potential suitors a questionnaire or checklist to fill fast-tracking the whole process.

So owing to above circumstances marrying once and living happily ever after hardly seems an achievable goal, because even if you marry someone like picking a random card and plan trying to stick with your choice your whole life. What if then halfway across you find someone who is better? Should you try to commit to them? If yes should you keep the first one? and why? What If that third person is committed to someone else? Should you budge in and try to separate that person’s pair? Does competition improve service/product offering in this juxtaposition as well or is it plain hedonistic to even consider this? At least for me at this point of time MONOGAMY hardly seems a practical solution, but no strings attached arrangements feel really demeaning as well.

For instance, choosing one of the two people for me is very hard, primarily because they are completely different, trying to chose one of them is like apples and oranges and making a resolution to not ever have the other fruit in future. Advocates of ‘commitment movement’ often say that above feelings are just excuse/refuge for those scared of commitment. But I don’t really know if I’d like one of those fruits so much that I’d willing to forgo the other indefinitely. Can’t I have a little serving of both from time to time. What if I want to have something that someone else is having? For a person like me who likes a particular part of some one and hates the other parts, how can one imagine living with the same person for rest of the life.What if that good part suddenly takes a back seat and bad parts start taking centre stage and you end up hating ‘em.

Recently two of my social connections(both known for changing their romantic partners often) did something similar, one of them divorced his 4th partner and the other eloped with someone we had no idea about.Both gave reasons that they couldn’t do justice to their souls and bare the thought of even loving and honouring their existing relations anymore.Consider that ‘the first one’ has had 4 love marriages along with several affairs and ‘the eloped case’ has had at least 5 long term relationships and handful of other intimate partners.Which brings us to questions i.e. How much is too much? and when is it enough?

So I wonder, are people who have a lot of breakups/divorces really worse off than the rest of us? No,rather they could be thought of as lab rats in this complex game of love and commitment issues. Crimes of passion and likes are much hyped BUT there are more gruesome crimes and misdemeanours that need ample attention.So to each his own.At the end of the day, everybody craves some security and commitment in their relationships,because even polygamy can ruffle a few feathers if it goes both ways, as ‘experimenting’ can be at the cost of faithfulness at times. So tell me folks How important is monogamy in today’s lives and how realistic of a goal is it?

Dream Job or Nightmare?

2011-11-06T23:34:00.001+05:00

First of all I should apologize to you all for not having written this post earlier,as a lot of you have been very inquisitive about lack of new posts.As I posted earlier I have been very preoccupied on the work front,which has brought me here i.e. my very first experience of a proper job ,not just any job but getting one’s ‘dream job’.

Luckily for me it all started in last week of June that I received this email in response to one of the random CV calls for a job posting,I remember when I was posting it, I expected that like always I wouldn't even receive a reply let alone an interview call.So fast forward few days of mundane details and there I was in my dream job of a managerial level, a proper office and with substantial freedom/locus of control.It was more fairy tale than Disney films/Pixar combined,except that the characters in my life did cuss once in a while and there were no musical sequences.

Finally I was there in my office with a large glass toped table ,big swinging chair and all and contrary to popular beliefs I was blessed with a great boss,he was not the conventional ‘incompetent slave driving egomaniac’ that we see in Hollywood films rather he was supportive,funny,friendly and at times very relatable.But as the first week and then second passed on ,the reality started to sink in and for the very first time in my life I began to second guess my DREAMS because it had not turned out to be the way I had expected it.At the end of the day the work became gruesome,less rewarding and at times hell broke lose,I was left demoralized and stressed out .My dream had turned out to be a nightmare.So after working there for a while.I decided to part ways.

I left because I got a reality check that things aren’t as fulfilling and it just didn’t feel right in the gut.You just know you aren’t meant to be there because you can’t do justice to the job assigned to you.I took a lot of flack from my friends that given the current job market situation I shouldn't have resigned but thankfully I have no regrets and am not hopeless.I learnt a lot of new things about work and most importantly about myself which otherwise I couldn’t have learned.

And now here I am interning at this amazing company ,stepping outside my comfort zone because in my head I never in million years imagined being associated with a concern like this.But at the end of the day my beliefs stand corrected that not all work situations are gruesome and barbaric ,because people here are nice ,there are no ugly conflicts or badly dressed people,people use forks at table and my boss is great eye candy ,what more could you ask for? .But the ugly truth is that although I mayn’t have gotten a big job title as the one I left,but I have decided not to follow the ‘pre-packaged, shrink-wrapped’ ideals of perfect job.I realize now that how content/satisfied you are with your professional life is all dependant upon your outlook on life as a whole.

Although my ideal of dream job has been crushed,and although I love this new place, I really don’t know whether I would like to envision myself working here for long period of time.I get bored easily I guess I need a job rotation to explore my talents or maybe I just need a good hard kick on my backside.

P.S. The movie ‘horrible bosses’ lived up to its name and was indeed horrible .

Fat is not Fabulous

2011-10-17T19:33:00.001+05:00

It has been some time since I have found something worthy to blog about.And what just got my attention is the fact that there a lot of fat people roaming around in my vicinity.First of all let me clear out that what I may feel may be subjective but my observation and some of my assertions are based on cruel facts of life,which some of you may have to take like a bitter pill.

I received a text message from a friend few days back ,which had this PSA feel to it as it went to suggest that it is morally wrong for a person to look at other fat people and directly assume that s/he is lazy and indulged in gluttony,whereas they might have some medical condition that's makes em big.For some odd reason I just flipped off,for me it was one of those moments that I just had to speak up.

So for the world that I live in,at least 4 out a 10 people are fat and that's fact.Some of you may argue that what you call a fat person is very relative but I guess your physical appearance for the most part tells it like it is when you wear snug clothing.So you need not go into body mass index and etc.But lets not mix i up with being skinny.You just have to be proportionate to your height and natural bone width.

As for the excuses that some people are genetically fat and others fit,well I agree but as for my observation being born in family which is overweight may make you prone to being fat when you grow up but it doesn’t dictate your fate.For the past 6 months I have joined a gym and witnessed that even morbidly obese people can have one of those ‘two legs in one pant leg’ moments.4 out of 5 five times fat people just use such excuses that they cant seem to lose weight,well it maybe a bit harder of some but nothing is impossible only if you have conviction for it.If they eat more calories then they burn they are bound to get fat.if you don’t change your eating habit and largely your lifestyle.How would they?

Let it be a universal fact the fat people not only look less desirable to their prospective partners,employers and maybe even children BUT moreover there is a very small percentage of people demographically that finds fat acceptable let alone attractive . And fat people themselves develop self esteem issues arising from bad image of self etc.There may exist a niche of models,celebrities and real life people but all of their success stories as rare as dodo bird. FAT Advocates may use more flattering terms such as plus size,full figured or whatever but the harsh reality dictates fat is not fabulous.It never was and it never will be.

P.S:

Watch biggest loser if you think you cant lose weight

Watch Brazilian models to get some motivation to workout

The one I’d never have

2011-09-19T03:06:00.001+05:00

There has been a person for whom I have had tremendous love and admiration,when I got to know this fellow there was this instant connection but things didn't get off very well as expected.As we got to know each other better over time, great bizarre sociocultural connections,similar tastes in music art etc emerged and my adoration grew like weeds in garden of roses.

As time swept by, uncaring and cold, there were these rumours on and off,as we often stumbled upon mutual friends they were always inquisitive about us being up to something fishy or having some relationship.It was always very funny and at the same time flattering to even get to know of these seemingly naive linkups.I never thought I would say this but whenever I was in need in help ,this connection has not only provided me a virtual sense of comfort but also a provided emotional security and support because they are times when you don’t need that childhood friend who knows everything,rather what you need is that empathetic ear yet one that needs not know all.

Now as this friend is set to leave the stage of my ever dramatic life,I am sitting here in front of PC ,typing away as I try to mitigate my impending doom.I really don’t know how would I carry on.Its almost strange that when you get to know there is little time left you suddenly become aware of this possible void that might occur when this person leaves you and the life as you knew it. For me this person would be the one I never had and hopefully the connection that I have would be the one I would never lose.

Like the Katy Perry song ‘The one that got away’

“Talk about our future like we had a clue
Never planned that one day I'd be losing you
In another life, I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be "us" against the world
In another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
All this money can't buy me a time machine (no)
Can't replace you with a million rings (no-o-o-o)
I should have told you what you meant to me (woah-oh-oh-oh)
Cause now I pay the price”

Check out this amazing photographic showcase highlighting the experiences and emotions of people who have lost somebody in their lives

http://www.pictorymag.com/showcases/one-who-got-away/

Eid gone awry!

2011-09-01T17:21:00.001+05:00

The days of 31st August,1st September and 2nd September marked the Eid holidays for much of the Muslim population in world this year.And I have never ever felt the need to write about such an occasion ever since.Also I now in my early twenties have never ever felt worse sense of disconnect and in need of meaning my whole life.

Being brought up in a very new age traditional close knit suburban culture,my childhood Eids were as stereotypically colourful and joyous as one could ever imagine.Specially more so because I had been blessed with a very large interconnected web of family and friends ,lived in a picturesque bungalow where some distant uncle and cousins would visit every us every year,the warmth, the cohesiveness was a total bliss.I remember that just after 15th Ramadan me and my sibling would go to buy around 30 Eid cards from everyone classmates,teachers,neighbours and handed them personally. It all seems very stupid to reminisce that time but it was very pleasantly innocent.My sister and cousins went to buy glass bangles the night before Eid in an ridiculously crowded markets,then got henna designs on their hands.

Back in 90s when I was growing up the clothing had not taken the downtrodden faded look,everything was new crisp, colourful and bright almost verging on the costumy side.We woke up in the morning said our prayers in big mosques with hundreds of people wearing those new clothes with stiff collars and tight buttonholes.When we used to visit our aunts’ and uncles’ homes their Eidi(money given as gift) although very meagre used to just fill our hearts with that top of the world kind of satisfaction,giving the ultimate sense of achievement and entitlement.The food,the sweets and all the games ,we the kids used to play when our parents used to talk big serious stuff in drawing rooms.

Now as I look back the times and the circumstances have drastically changed the traditional close knit web of family has somehow translated itself to be more of a curse which has rendered many of us tangled and distant emotionally as you no longer even talk to some of those relatives forgetting they even existed.The complexities of modern culture intermingling with traditional values has brought forth this new web of personal resentment, family disputes and these doubts of selfishness.There are fewer cards sent and more impersonal text messages being circulated not due to ease of technology but only because the people don't think others deserve that much of compassion and effort.The Eidis are also never big enough to be content with,now they are weighed and counted ,the reciprocation of giving to others depends upon how much they gave you in the first place.Clothing which was cornerstone and artefacts now all has to be practical and durable rather than festive and colourful because you suddenly start doing the maths of it all.

Lastly and maybe the most disappointing is the fact that when you grow up there are more fake smiles and uncomfortable hugs to strangers than those care free moments.You no longer frolic in the gardens and play silly games with friends and cousins in lawns.You sit in the drawing rooms/lounge in fancy way of crossing your legs discussing politics,economics and out of all things how much each one of you is earning among other things over caffeinated beverages .Grownup girls gossip about illicit affairs and nasty girl issues.Boys turn to equally disturbing topics if not more.I guess Eids have gone awry because now its all about the money,the MEN and the marriages.I wish things remained carefree and simple as they were when we were naive kids,little knowledge maybe a dangerous thing but when it comes to family and relationships a great deal of it certainly makes celebrations and festivities such as Eids awry.

Popcorn Politician

2011-08-29T23:58:00.001+05:00

Probably what the public of Karachi really wanted besides having 16 hour power shortages,fuel as expensive as diamonds,rampant unemployment,slaughtered gunny bagged human bodies,and spurs of gunfire was another flaming speech by a politician.

On the fate less noon of this past weekend ,a well known Public Office bearer hurled towards the Press club to make a ‘significant’ announcement and what followed was an impressive display of oratory skills and dramatic (yet no less controversial) revelations that have rendered the already uncertain political scenario in a quagmire.What added the fuel to his fiery speech was not the fact he gave voice to masses by that have been oppressed by that ‘tyrannical party’, but it was use of ‘the bells and whistles’ of swearing upon Holy Quran to add credibility to his assertions (Which I thought was desperate and should be put down as a custom.But it was entertaining nonetheless) and his garnishing of humour here and there.

I guess there is some unexplainable relationship between the name ‘Zulfiqar’ and the flaming rhetoric that offends some and pleases others.Former Prime Minister sharing the same first name bears testament to this hypothesis.So much so that I conclude that it was Bhutto’s unshakeable stance in his speeches that led the gentleman to his grave.What that achieved was revolutionary or not is another debate altogether.

Moreover the question arises what to do of those political parties that demand separation from the state or resort to violence out of desperation and being deprived for along time .And what if these allegedly criminal parties have got considerable votes from citizens.Should the government let these join in to stabilize the government tenure ? As if they are left out of political process they would resort to violent agitation.

Should the government employ a coercive use of force to succumb their demands or conduct army operation to eradicate and silence them once and for all to foster an environment of greater coherence/cohesiveness .If you choose one of the two options you must take into consideration the example of Tamils in Sri Lanka and Kurds in Turkey among others.We are in a similar juxtaposition.Add to that the experience of previous operations in 1990s that added fuel to firebomb of hatred and ethnic segregation left to brew since then.Further add to these violation of human rights and immense psychological costs of violence on the populace which has always been jaded by suicide bombings and terrorism in the first place.

However leaving everything aside what was interesting to notice during this speech broadcast was the bouts of pride and piety amongst the poor populace of Sindhi speaking people suddenly this Infamous feudal figure has been transformed into a heroic figure.We certainly love making commoners into the pinnacle of Messiahs.An example to prove this was incident of former Foreign Minister who was deemed as an US agent earlier was later made a hero after he spoke ill of his own party led Government.It all boils down to another media extravaganza,another week or so of fruitless 'pseudo analytical’ babbling on TV.

While people from the other side of grass suspect this Minister’s speech for some ‘hidden agenda’ and foul play because of un-timeliness.I for one believe that although the Gentleman has immense amount of misdirected courage.His latest antic would not lead us(the general public) anywhere owing to the facts that both our ‘Rulers’ remain obliviously apathetic and the general public remains helpless and delusionary optimistic.Proof of it lies in the fact that there are more funny SMS being circulated then prayers for stability and calls for concern.Summing up Ramadan this year: Amir Liaquat ki Ghalib, Altaf Bhai ka Haleem, Rehman Malik ka saib/kela ........... Bohat Nazuk Soorat-e-Haal hai :)

Oh Come, All Ye Faithful!

2011-08-17T22:14:00.001+05:00

Over the weekend one of the most mundane YouTube clip became viral, yes I am referring to that clip that featured outtakes of now defamed talk show host of religious program.The video showed him using a variety of cuss/swear words liberally.Although its wasn't that shocking to me but I am sure whole lot of people would have felt let down and sort of sad because of it.

At the height of his fame the talk show host in question was the pinnacle of piety and holiness,only the Almighty and the accountants know how much money he made from it.It started a trend of these so called religious themed talk shows bringing the religion to masses in a way which was both convenient and fuss free.But maybe somewhere along the way the audience mistook talk show host for some sort of messiah or role model I guess that’s where the problem started.They missed the point that its strictly business, it was a TV show to start with.

Moreover with our history both religious and regional ,we shouldn’t be stranger to the fact that power mongers have used the garb of religion as a disguise for pushing their less pious ulterior motives,as it gives them a free pass and an unconquerable reason for their existence in the first place.These ‘faith flaunters’ are not only very effective individuals but some are quite successful political parties.Jamiat-e-Islami and other such parties are good case in point, not so long ago one of the leaders of such a party gave a TV interview that suggested that rape victims should die rather than complain about the atrocity committed.It definitely faced condemnations from the enlightened and liberal crowd later but what was really discomforting that he stood by his opinion and also professed the same to thousands of his rally attendees later on.Which I am sure would follow him like sheep.

Moreover these “forceful faithfuls“ have quite a habit of pushing their beliefs down others’ throats,almost all of us are familiar with student wings of these political parties tearing down posters,disrupting and even threatening other students for they claim that they are doing so forward the will of God and stop vulgarity etc.Another such fact that highlights our society’s infatuation with all things religion is evident when almost any common man from a mosque be it an Prayer Imam or etc can deem another person a heretic and thus ‘liable to be killed’.Former Governor of Punjab although not a very pious man himself, fell victim to such a paranoia when one of his guards got persuaded to kill him after hearing one of such fatwa(rulings) that deemed the Governor ‘a blasphemer’.So it is high time when you can’t even dare to ask any questions regarding religion or you might be the next one that is liable to be killed.

So much so that it appears to me that all of these angry religious fanatics have turned blood thirsty masochists that derive pleasure from inflicting pain.But I don’t see this tsunami of delusion and destruction subside any time soon .As the rift between secular more prosperous upper class and the more fundamentalist less prosperous lower socio economic class grows wider,the less prosperous find refuge in the cradle of the religious parties and these religious parties would undoubtedly continue to manipulate and outright use this support to further their cause.And a small group of people like you and me would find solace in disowning and criticizing such movements in blogosphere which might have little or no footprint.

Comeback

2011-08-16T01:57:00.001+05:00

I do owe all of you(ones who read the blog) an apology because its been quite a while since I last wrote.Some of you were very kind to reach up to me via emails and social networking websites to inquire about my well being,since I always have something to say.Well to start with I had taken a break initially because I was very uninspired ,all of the things going on in my life were very insipid so I felt there was little or no need to bore all of you with my babbling.

But after a little time things went crazily consuming so much so I didn’t even have time to shave stubble off of my face,people started to mistake me for turning Islamist or something So writing was nearly impossible.To start with I got a job(eventually left it) ,not just any job but the kind one dreams of and actually lands there like a Hollywood movie.It was a rollercoaster ride (one in which you puke eventually not the pleasant kind) more on that in consequent posts.All of this and more experiences which I am going to elucidate in future posts made me learn a lot about myself,as always I don’t know what I know for sure but I do know now what I don’t want and what I am not. Sounds like fancy shmancy tongue twister but I am no philosopher ,so try reading it a few times if you don’t get it.I guess it is sort of a self discovery in which I am peeling away the layers like cabbage or the less pleasant onion if you may assume.

So I am sitting here,trying to get back on track ,having a myriad of thoughts I want to describe,wondering what if? So lets not delay any further and try to build upon the things which need to be addressed one at a time.And trust me this much needed break from writing has been really invigorating as now I have a whole new universe to think and eventually write about.So bear with me ,I wish the ride is not bumpy but rather pleasant and reflective.

Conspire

2011-07-21T23:45:00.001+05:00

There is not a social vice as grotesque as the widespread prominence of conspiracy theories.Its no-brainer that our society is consumed by conspiracy theories. We all know several people in our social network who are either conspiracy believers, or downright conspiracy theorists. Sadly there is not a day that goes by without some act of violence,but even more bothersome is the way these conspiracies mushroom, legitimizing and supporting these heinous acts via some hidden agenda or invisible hand for that matter.OBL’s death is a good case in point, as soon as the incident was reported rumour mill started to spin, but this phenomenon isn’t new you could trace back our history and there you would find conspiracy theories regarding almost everything .

Starting with elucidating the term, conspiracy theories are generally ‘a society’s way of displaying the scepticism towards the other’ which in the case of conspiracy theories is the party with whom you have some sort of conflict with such as US,India,Jews etc. But if we divulge even deeper into the behavioural and social sciences part of it ‘myths and storytelling are ways through which people make sense’ out of dramatic lives that are at times too bitter a pill to swallow. And it is a myth in turn to which all conspiracy theories mainly boil down to.

Our infatuation with conspiracy theories Is like a ‘romantic attachment’ which is at times both dismissive and anxious .And part of the reason why our society’s obsession is so strong ,is because most of us( the citizens) feel ‘disempowered and ideologically aimless’ owing to of what has occurred to us since the last 64 years of our turbulent socio-political history .This uncertainty has rendered us unfairly vulnerable to all the propaganda especially the one used by monstrous conspiracy theorists. The monster feeds off of these weak points by projecting false image of possessing some secret knowledge providing much needed solace and bringing delusion of empowerment .The aim is mainly to confuse the citizens, divide the opposition, or rally support for some cause. This ever increasing canyon of mistrust and disconnect between our rulers and the people has also added fuel to the fire.

My answer to ridding our society of this plague is to ignore them & not engaging in active counter argument because over time they would die down due to lack of attention. It’s the high time when we as society need to start talking about shrouded issues ,taboos and start telling the bitter truth to the younger generation,accept where we went wrong and where we lack.

And to those dreaded conspiracy theorists ,even if you know world is going to cave in and you’re the only ‘saviour’ and keeper of the secret,let me tell you this you won’t even get a chance to make an omelette ;so instead of engaging in this futile rebellion ,do something constructive for people immediately around you by doing small deeds like picking up plates after dinner not littering around etc, speak a few kind and compassionate words. You can’t change the future but you can change the PRESENT lives of those around you.

Parenting

2011-06-01T14:09:00.001+05:00

If you have been reading my blog for a while you would be no stranger to the fact that I am not really a child/baby person i.e. I don’t like babies as much as an average person does.Its not that I don't find them cute and adorable but I am not as fascinated to have a profile photo of baby to represent me .Moreover its that I don't like the other things that go with babies and parenting e.g. the crying of babies just ticks me off so much I wanna rip that baby’s head off, or when they are trying to act all Indiana Jones opening out every drawer in search of the ‘treasure’ and wrecking havoc along the way.well I guess I should keep the sadistic details to minimum.

So bearing a baby would be the last thing on my mind naturally.People ask me you were a baby once ,you must have done some really annoying stuff too how could you be so bitter towards babies now?.Well I have said it before and I say it again, my parents would testify to that fact that I really wasn’t a naughty child ,I was composed even when playing ,at public gatherings or visits I was the trophy child that others could see and ooh aaah on.Kudos to good parenting!

Psychologists and Philosophers believed that every aspect of our lives, is the direct result of our relationship to our parents in some sick twisted way and that every relationship that we have is really just another version of that first relationship.You must have read the Greek stories of Electra and Oedipus which Sigmund Freud later developed into Electra complex and Oedipus complex .In Oedipus’s story prophecy predicts that Oedipus will kill his father Laius, the King of Thebes (unwittingly) and marry his mother (also unwittingly). And he does, while also having two children from the incestuous relationship.In Electra’s case the daughter kills her mother Clytemnestra when she discovers her mother’s involvement in her father’s murder. When I brought this up with some of my‘intellectually less endowed’ friends,first they laughed their behinds off then they told me that all of these geniuses were sick/twisted and disturbed.Which disturbed me even more

Which brings us to my parents,I must say they have been the best one could ever have ,at times being the most indulging,protecting and doting parents one could imagine.I know everyone says that but you gotta meet mine you would be awestruck.If I start mentioning the kind of sacrifices they have made for me,it would be an insult to their laborious toiling and it would be more sobby than the story of Bollywood film ‘Mother India’.In a nut shell they are one of those goody-good naive vanilla-strawberry sweet people that you see in movies, you just look at them and the word that comes out of your mouth is ‘Damn’.On a totally unrelated note my life really is like those old Bollywood films like ‘Hum Apkey Hain Kon’ and ‘Hum Saath Saath Hain’ Sick but true.

I don’t know how in the heaven my parents have managed to raise a decent human being like me,its seems like a really draining and tiresome task that never seems to end.If you disagree try to get a pet,even a fish in aquarium would drive you nuts let alone a mammal that is noisy and poops. Rather I would go on to say that parenting is ‘The most important job’ in the world so much so that one must require a degree or a licence to do it, but then most of us (specially me)wouldn't even pass the preliminary screening test. On the other hand some people really are naturally parenting,they are born to do it, so much so they parent their friends,siblings even spouses(true story).

A case against hair-colouring

2011-05-26T20:09:00.001+05:00

You must have been living under a rock or hibernating or something if you haven’t noticed herds of animalistic heads running around inciting mixed emotions of disgust and pity.Its been almost five years now that I have been observing more and more people roaming around with disastrous hair colouring jobs,so much so I want to chase them down and hide their heads with gunny bags or obscenely large hats etc.

There are few things that are so bad that warrant attention on emergency basis,and I think its time to put our foot down and raise a voice against this atrocity of hair colour abuse.Now some of you might disagree with me but I must make it clear that I am referring to permanently and radically transforming natural hair colour not anything else.

Well the fairytale started when people were looking for ways to cover up their gray hair but some crazy scientist had this crazy idea decades back to develop a whole rainbow of hues from yellows to greens and blues.Our Pakistani society picked up hair products in 80s and became more adventurous by the end of decade.But I am totally clueless regarding how this black to blonde thingy crept up.I see scores and scores of women going to these ‘beauty parlours’ and lightening their otherwise beautiful dark coloured hair into horrendous lighter shades of blonde and sand.

It looks as if these people both men and women have been tortured or their hairstylist has taken some sort of revenge by doing this to them.The hair texture is goes suddenly like corn hair and in some cases like floor mop.some of these hair colouring disasters are absurdly elaborate ranging from straight lines of lighter hair colour ‘streaks’ to sprouts of pointy lighter coloured strands.So it is one of the ten commandments that your hair should not under any circumstances resemble a floor mop ,coat of an animal , a clown wig or rap star like Nicki Minaj which are all one and the same thing.Even the gays have moved on to abusing hair product from hair colouring,so Ladies and Gentlemen please spare yourselves from ridicule.No matter what problem you have with your natural hair colour, more often than not its the best one for you.All one needs to do is to have better hair cut and hairstyling revamp.

Before opting for any hair colouring job take my advice: snap a photo of yourself and manipulate the hair colour on your computer to see how it would look.Then lastly visit a great (notice great not just good) hair salon to do the job.Trust me its all worth it, the professionals know better how it would turn out;they do it for a living and have your best interests in their mind,unlike you who is probably just plain bored/star struck.It is strictly not a ‘do-it-yourself’ kinda task,you wont get the desired results ever.Its like comparing masturbation to actual sex.

Lastly always remember the society you dwell in ,the workplace and your personality should match the hair colour you go for and the overall look you have in mind,you shouldn’t be having stripper hair if you are banker with conservative Islamist family .Your skin tone and eye colour also plays a pivotal role,there are lot of tutorials online to find the perfect shade for your type DO THAT.Because initial labour is better than remorse and eventual ridicule.

The ‘F’ word(s)

2011-05-21T12:55:00.001+05:00

I was getting bored to death the other day and out of all things I ended up taking a stupid quiz on Facebook about finding one’s alphabet.The result was a no brainer to me.All of the things and people that are really really important to me start with that letter.I usually refer to them as the dreaded ‘F’ words ,no I don't mean the obvious fuck(maybe that as well but) ,there are many more words like friends,family,feuds (yea I know these go together ) but not only that there is freedom,forgiveness,failure,fat,French,fashion etc I could go on and on like boring babbling bitch.

For some odd twist of fate (see again an F) names of most important people in my life also start with the letter F ,from the ones that I am really fond of (e.g. friends,crushes etc)to the ones whose existence on this earth I despise(e.g. enemies,frenemies,relatives etc).So its a delicate balance,a tough call because most of the times my association with all of these Fs in my life are impossible to explain,they seem to linger on and feed off of me, even after I assumed that my ties with them are broken .Most of all of these f coincidences defy logic ,distance and time.Maybe this weird association with all these F s is just meant to be.Maybe my head (along with my life) is totally F-ed up or maybe I am looking way too deep in to fairly trivial matters. By the way what’s your letter?

Changing for Good?

2011-05-15T00:48:00.001+05:00

In this past year,I as a person ,a spiritual entity have undergone tremendous changes.Changes that I didn’t expect would ever realize even in my wildest dreams.It is all very apparent to people around me as they are constantly mentioning how ‘changed’ I am now ,but when I stand up in front of my bathroom mirror to brush my teeth,I for one cant seem to notice any of those obvious things.

I started this blog almost two years ago and its been one of the most rewarding and at times the most burdensome things.When I started it I intended to make it an outlet for rants and complaining out issues in general,but during this journey a lot of professional bloggers and writers gave me helpful advice i.e.on how to improve etc and somewhere along this treacherous course of events I am ashamed to say that it all changed ,maybe I have lost it.Lost the point of it all.Its all turned out to be very constrained and structured , the posts seem more like essays and lectures, which is the last thing I would want to produce right now. Some of you might say that I have improved drastically as time has progressed but I can’t seem to wrap my head around this anymore.As my life is constantly reinventing , it is expected that I as a sane person, have to keep reinventing myself too. There's this constant nagging pressure to adapt to ‘the changes’ and at times it has been a very painful process. But when I let go of the control, I have found myself moving backwards instead of forwards.Its like you are sitting alone in a peaceful calm room where suddenly the subtle humming sound of fan starts irritating you.And you want to break something for no apparent reason.

So where do we go from here? I have read like a gazillion times that because everything around us is so dynamic and instable, we have to adopt to the changes even if it means reinventing ourselves,and seriously this delicate balance of staying true to yourself and reinventing is screwing me up big time .Its bullshit.

Because honestly in my case there's no time for looking back, no option of letting go or even accepting defeat. In case anyone of you is inquisitive and trying to figure WTH I am referring to change this and that.Well some of the changes have been forced on me, some happened by accident, and there were times when I made most of some others. So I’ve decided to find new ways to fix the wrong and work towards creating new versions of myself,ones that are more compatible to things/people around me.But I just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over my current self, not a regression.

$EX

2011-05-14T00:13:00.001+05:00

Sex, a word so provoking and controversial that it catches the attention of even the least attentive of beings,some will shrug ,others would raise their brows and while a whole lot might be salivating in the hope that following piece of text would contain some saucy erotic details.In the following lines I‘I'll attempt not to disappoint anyone and hopefully get my point across regarding the act and not the word.

I recently watched a movie called ‘Kinsey’ released in 2004,which follows Dr. Alfred Kinsey’s evolutionary research on sexual behaviour among other things.To quote the movie,the gap between what we assume people do sexually and what they ACTUALLY do is enormous.And this lit a bulb in my head wow this is so relevant in our society’s context as well.Well Dr.Kinsey conducted his study primarily through direct interviews and that also at a time when we Pakistanis were fighting for Independence.So probably on average the general people responding to it were only as bold and expressive about sex as majority of us are today.

Well I assume most of you (my readers) have had some sort of exposure to sex,either in terms of active engagement or maybe just watched others engage in it and pleasured yourself.Contrary to popular opinion everybody masturbates and there is no proven adverse health consequences of it.In this age of the Internet,almost everybody has had watched pornography,so it is again assumed that you know there are different ways and situations in which people choose to have sex.There are multiple positions and acts ranging from bizarre to truly absurd.

People have to know the possibilities because ignorance of them might mean deprivation in some ways.It is my personal belief that a lot of people in our society have fetishes that they either have not realized themselves or are afraid to ask for ‘em from the sexual partners.You don’t know what fetish is? well dictionary defines it as ‘Something nonsexual, such as an object or a part of the body which arouses sexual desire or is necessary for one to reach full sexual satisfaction’.If you look at the people around you, you might observe that there are many absurd ones,some people are aroused by being tied down/restrained (bondage),some like hair,others by same gender ,some even animals etc.Yea you read that it happens, some people actually do have sex with animals.

As there is diversity of other things among people,so is there a diversity by which people orgasm.Orgasm which is basically the pleasurable climax of the sexual activity is automatic reflex,and interestingly this reflex can be triggered by a wide range of inputs (besides genital stimulation),there have been cases reported in which a women had an orgasm every time she brushed her teeth and a man experiencing one when someone touched his eye brows and a lot others.So you need not feel weird about your weird interests if any.

Leaving all the naughty discussions aside,we cannot ignore the fact sex is not merely a mechanical activity ,its much more than that because it involves emotions and feelings ,it should not be ‘an end’ in itself.When done with a right person,it feels like heaven and stars shooting kinda inexplicable pleasure of epic proportions.But having said that ethics and morality prevalent in the society do deem some sexual acts/behaviour as indecent or even impermissible .So engaging in them can have some adverse social and even legal repercussions.Moreover there needs to be an agreement,sense of responsibility and discretion between the partners engaging in it.

This blog post of mine only attempts educate on few issues regarding sex,there should be no denying the fact that Pakistan’s society because of its lack of sex education has become sexual repressed and its repercussions are spreading of HIV/AIDS, unwanted pregnancies, and sexual abuse etc.So I wish people could discuss about it freely that also without any ‘HOO-HAA’ or ‘hush hush’.Lastly, anybody who has any confusions or questions regarding their bodies and sex in general should either talk to a doctor or a parent (an elder partner doesn’t count).It may seem very difficult but trust me sweeping matters under the carpet will only cause you psychological distress.Sex is a risky and dangerous game because if you are not careful it will cut you wide open.

Tyranny of the Terrorism

2011-05-05T18:19:00.001+05:00

Terrorism has plagued lives of almost all of us and it continues wreck lives of countless others in the fight against it in one way or another;literally nobody is spared.In the light of Osama Bin Laden’s death,we should take a moment out of our jubilance and realize that his death represents merely a symbolic victory because terrorism is not an act by an individual,it has come out to be an elaborate ideology .Moreover as you read this violence is still being inflicted upon millions in one form or another.

The tyrannous impact or terror is two fold, in an attempt to eliminate or condemn violence,the fight in turn begets violence mimicking the way infectious viruses spread.So the question springs up, who is the egg or the chicken in this dichotomy of terrorism? We could have lengthy philosophical arguments justifying one party or another based on our tainted beliefs.So you may identify a group as a terrorist ,while they themselves use terms that are more flattering in their situation such as a ‘separatist, freedom fighter, liberator, revolutionary, patriot, or etc’.So how do we decide? Well its primarily decided by borrowing opinions of ‘the media’ or the ones we deem better positioned at understanding society; rather than forming our own opinions and beliefs.Now is definitely the time to question these polarized beliefs and tainted opinions of ours.

Moreover as we know terrorism in this modern age is innately media-related,the terrorists carry out extremely ferocious acts to bring attention to their cause and foster an environment of fear and intimidation.Media feeds the monster by reporting it and bringing the incident to millions of people .But having said that even if,if the Media censors reporting terrorism to discourage it,the terrorists are in turn encouraged to conduct even more extreme acts.

In an effort to fight terrorism some suggest resorting to military action and social profiling of terrorists,which as the history has taught us ,is not only ineffective and expensive but has rather aggravated the problem.Because in effort to protect our own kind,we have oppressed the ones with whom we disagree ,deprived them and further incited hatred and inflicted pain out of spite/self interest.As we speak Somalia,Iraq,Libya,Afghanistan,Sudan,Ivory Coast,and Pakistan are gushing rivers of blood.The foreign interference (whether overt or otherwise) in all of these nations is a testament to the fact that you can’t fight terrorism by force,as it begets a feeling of insecurity and more and more people turn to violence in a bid to protect their land from ‘intruders’.These foreign interventions are mainly to usurp a territory ,to dominate a territory’s resources , for imposition of a particular form of government, in opposition to a ruling government or occupying army and sometimes just fanatical greed.However sovereignty and dignity of indigenous population should be respected under every circumstance there are no valid excuses.

In conclusion I would stress that there should be no denying the fact that precious lives are being lost, people no matter which ideological background they belong to are humans that deserve to be treated with respect and compassion.There is increased need of dialogue and understanding in this heinously divided and polarized society. We have to break the walls and transcend ‘the boundaries’ ever more so, because we need to empathize with sufferers without any exceptions.

P.S. I wrote a post in 2009 titled ‘Violence and threat of Violence’ which addresses similar issues

Friends bent upon Bandits

2011-04-25T01:08:00.001+05:00

Well we have all had friends ,whose romantic linkups we have come to despise at some point of time.Don’t roll your eyes.I know you must know at least one or two friends/acquaintance that has had either a partner or companion whom you just couldn’t stand.A relative maybe? So in this particular post I will elucidate on how people around me are bent upon choosing bandits (refers to bad people in case you didn’t get it )

So the story is that a really good friend of mine fell for a person who at first seemed to be pretty normal, run of the mill.I was as usual being a good friend and wished everything works fine for her.But as this friend got more and more in love with him,bad things started to mushroom that drastically changed my perception of this guy.And I seriously started to question my friend’s sanity what the hell is she thinking ,why is she still with him even after knowing all of this filth.But then I figured she is completely blinded by ‘love’ as people usually put it.

This is not the first instance,it usually happens that one of our‘vanilla sweet’ innocent friend falls for a sluty liar who is not only promiscuous but absolutely miserable in general.Like I have this friend whose girlfriend is so off, she complains about everything, gets quite nasty, is really high strung and really unpleasant to be around.Then there is another relative who not only got involved with (a person whom I strongly disapproved of )but rather went on to marry her.She is a gold digger i.e. she is only with my friend because she wants his money; she’ll spend it on jewellery, clothes,etc. Once he goes broke she'll go for another man that is rich.

I don’t know if its nature’s joke that a relatively positive friend of mine would almost always fall for the person who is adversely opposite in comparison. So a generous, kind, average looking girl I know would mostly end up with an overbearing, narcissistic ass who thinks he has an impish sense of humour but is actually just cruel and nasty.A really intelligent, studious guy fell for a dumb sex bomb who is a total fool. Her IQ is barely over 70 and I can’t understand what he sees in her. You can’t talk to her about ANYTHING; she just doesn’t understand or have independent thought on any subject. On the other end of spectrum a happy-go-lucky girl would date insufferably self-centered ‘know-it-all’s who is complete misery guts. No matter what the topic is he has something negative to say. He'll just complain endlessly.

Some of you might say that its how people usually choose their partners i.e. go for things that are strange and complete different to their own personality.But if it is so then why 90% of them are not together anymore?.Maybe its because relationships aren’t as easy as ABC.But trust me sometimes a friends’ romantic choices are so unbearable that their mere existence makes your skin crawl.Worst case scenario is when you know all the dirt about that person but can’t tell it to your friend cuz s/he will devastated .

Regardless of everything ,what I have learnt from all of these experiences is that we being friends should never attempt playing God (not even a matchmaker),i.e. trying to control their lives by influencing who they chose to date and fall in love with.On the contrary we should be non-judgemental (and keep our mouths shut),and be there for them providing unconditional support whenever these suckers treat ‘em badly .The key is empathy ,not active engagement.Because it is their life so their choices and vice versa.

Tests,Screens and Interviews

2011-04-20T14:56:00.001+05:00

There is a very a famous Bollywood movie line that goes something like ‘life is itself a test’.Keeping the profoundness aside,for a young academic about to graduate,this line pretty much sums up what life has come about to be.Decades of our lives are spent praying to Almighty to have better grades/scores in schools,then college and subsequently university.And just when we think the struggle would finally end,this whole new series of tests and interviews start.Yes I am referring to the dreadful employment tests.

As noted by a fellow blogger ,one of the many things that are to be hated about adulthood is the need to earn a living.We, the young adults, after having spent almost all of our lives in studying ,become used to measuring our self-worth with grades on our report cards .But as soon as you are about to graduate there is this vague feeling of guilt about being dependent and there is this desire to be semi respectable so that you could tell people around you that YOU are doing something worthwhile.Because trust me people would spare no opportunity to look down upon you if you don’t work.

But finding and actually landing a decent job isn’t an easy feat these days either.Keeping the broader economic issues aside,the recruitment process has become so twisted and gruesome that it would put Nazi violence to shame.Even to get a meagre internship which pays you peanuts, you have to go through several gruelling and ‘self-esteem draining’ stages of tests and interviews,only to find out that you are not even qualified for the it.

The content and format of these test is also as alarmingly absurd (if not more)as the number of candidates vying for that job.Moreover the irrelevancy of content is so ironic that it is tear inducing sometimes.There are questions about angles in geometry and figuring out synonyms of modern English words into archaic one for a job that deals with accounting/mindless number crunching.Or biology of frogs and human digestive system for a job at a software company.Go Figure!

And If you are ‘jack-of-all’ nerd aka lucky enough to pass the written test,you move on to interviews,where the recruiter would try every sadistic technique to strip you of your self-respect and make you feel as insignificant as an ant amongst elephants,all the while making sure you feel the heat of the ‘hot seat’ as if you are being interrogated in Guantanamo bay for terrorism charges.Wondering why? Hmm well they say its to see how you perform in ‘stressful situations’. Isn’t it amazing!.

So its an open request to all those judgemental people around ,that please cut us(unemployed peers) some slack,its not as easy as it used to be back in the day.Don’t judge a book by its cover and likewise don’t judge a person by the size of his wallet or visiting card for that matter.And to people who design these recruitment tests please get a life ,study some HR course and for once design a test that is relevant to the job being applied for.Will ya!

Religious Sensitivities

2011-04-09T13:33:00.001+05:00

I have been asked numerous times by people around me about my beliefs and religion so to say,and this past week again a fellow reader named Nameless asked me to elaborate some of stuff in my head.I cant ignore the fact that I am writing this post from a country which is tarnished by negative publicity it has got from terrorism and insurgency supposedly having roots in religious extremism.(HEAVY WORDS HUH) and there is not a day goes by that I wonder why it has to be such a sensitive and violent matter.I am writing this blog post with a heavy heart ,as last week there was again a terrorist attack killing dozens and injuring scores of people at a place of worship.

In my school I read books that defined religion as ‘a system of belief and worship which governs the conduct of daily human affairs ’.But somewhere along the way ,we as a society distorted this definition,twisting it and turning it into one that solely serves our own interests and discriminates against the ones who have different beliefs (let alone another religion).

Its not hard to come across a particular breed of people these days who are not only radical with respect to their beliefs (and pushing it down other’s throats) but also have this tendency to call anyone who disagrees on any of his views an ‘infidel’ or ‘blasphemer’.This could be because we have not only become gruesomely judgemental over time,but also have developed this delusion that we are the sole keepers of the ‘truth’ and our way is the ONLY right way.

Besides the real big guys of religion and theologists for that matter have been overshadowed and silenced by their ‘Politicized Peers’(who disguise their utterly personal sense of morality as the truth).Religious politics is certainly at the forefront of this mayhem , but what is worse is that these so called ‘religious parties’ play with sanctity of faith to their advantage, stirring up religious sensitivities ‘by interpreting Holy Scriptures in ways that breed violence,hatred or disdain’ whenever they deem fit; justifying their deeds by terming it ‘the Holy War’ or progressing the ‘Will of Lord’.

Irony is there is little that could be done to counter it,as a large proportion of our population is illiterate and can’t decipher/practice their faith/religion on their own,they have no option but to resort to these Madrasahs and Mullahs.However I do wish that people could stop following the so called ‘Religious Leaders’ like zombies and start questioning what these people preach and what these peoples themselves practice.

I for one represent a silent and relatively inexpressive minority in my society, those who get their education in a convent (or affluent society schools) and have the privilege to have grown up amongst people of different faiths.Although I myself may not be a a very devout religious person but I firmly believe that religion is all-encompassing and compassionate towards the whole humanity .Anything that incites contempt and compounds human misery is not the authentic version of it ,no matter what belief system you belong to.Moreover everybody is entitled to their own opinions/beliefs (even the Radicalists are) because religion to me is highly personal one-to-one matter with God and He is there to judge everybody’s deeds, not me or you for that matter.

‘Bad’ is the new ‘Good’

2011-03-30T16:08:00.001+05:00

While reading some classic literature a week back,I reflected on how there has been this adverse radical shift of social preferences, some of which I reflected upon in my post Case for feminism.In this post I attempt to highlight this compulsion of people to opt for things that were previously considered to be negative/undesirable.

Yes ladies and gentlemen this is the age of the darkness,this is the time where promiscuity is the new chastity,rudeness is the new chivalry,pain is the new pleasure and perversity is undoubtedly the new modesty.Gone are the days when life actually was a fairytale ,with rainbow clad skies and green meadows with daises blooming here and there.I don’t know what happened or when this image started to break apart but we now live in a completely transformed world, its filthy,dark and dangerous.Rebellion or just plain boredom with ‘the old and regular’ may have been the cause of this gradual change but I don’t know exactly how to nail this coffin.Its just everywhere in popular culture.

In the past I remember heroes/heroines in the film and television were considered to be desirable,people wanted to have lovers and spouses like these righteous characters.Everybody wanted to be like them .Now the bad boys ,villains and vamps are the coveted ones.Which brings us to the whole relationship/dating scenario ,if a person hasn’t done ‘kinky intimate acts’ in their relationship or hasn’t not been in few relationships in past, then they are suddenly deemed as not attractive/desirable anymore.Experience has started to matter here as well for some odd reason.I don’t know what people would do next ,call those Exes for background checks and referrals?

Another such instance that I happen to experience quite often is that whenever I turn down a cigarette or any other smoking tool,people not only consider it rude but term it as being so uncool and look at me with a pitiful look on their faces.I as usual just roll my eyes.Its the same with alcohol,drugs,reckless driving.. I could go on and on.Even if we look at the fashion where the dirty ripped jeans and racy short skirts are almost always more popular than the sartorially conservative dandy attire.It was not too long ago that Gothic trend was all the rage.

I don’t know what we as a society are up to.Maybe the good doesn’t excite us anymore.Maybe its the the same Adam and Eve juxtaposition i.e. we as humans are likely to go for forbidden things.I am just not sure.HOWEVER what I don't want is to start another conspiracy theory debate.I am just trying to plead a just case of the good heroes ,the vanilla ice cream and oxford shirts among other things.Cuz at the end of day,all this excitement and feeling of rebellion (associated with choosing these ‘bad’ things) would just fade away.It just doesn’t last.But then a big question arises who decides the bad and the good.Isn’t it all relative ?

Aims,Plans and Surety

2011-03-19T13:32:00.001+05:00

Yesterday I saw this movie called“How do you know?” starring Reese Witherspoon and Paul Rudd,the exciting fact was that I stumbled upon it in a very unexpected way but then I ended up relating to it a great deal.It basically tells a story of 2 very different people, who are having some major trouble in their lives and don’t know where they are headed (lack of direction)or what are they supposed to do(Indecisiveness).The depiction was so raw,real and profound that I was asking myself that is it my story ? or there are many more people going through shitty circumstances and feeling the same way.

Almost every other day I come across scores and scores of people, who are just so sure about where they are headed and what they are doing .So much so that I am just intrigued by the amount of details, they have their whole lives planned out like the 1st year I am gonna earn this much and get that and be really happy/content.How do they know that? Not only that their image of future selves is so vivid and certain but they know for sure its for them,I wonder how did they get here.Did they figure it out all by themselves or somebody somehow tells them to pursue/believe all of this.

Like I have this friend who has this strict (routine like) plan with almost military precision for example I want to get this many marks ,then do job that pays that much money,marry at that age and with a particular person ,have that many babies and build a house at this place etc.In my mind I am saying ‘How the hell does he know all that, he is just so sure he wants it ,his aims are so concrete/clear and he is so tirelessly working towards ‘em.

I have been trying really hard to figure things out about my life and my future from the get go and I haven't been able to find the path, the light or whatever that is.Whereas I suppose this is the time ,when everybody has to be clear about all of it .Isn’t it?I don’t know what I want or where/how I want it.Because I am just not sure.It’s not like I have come from a different planet or something (because like other regular people I should have been able to figure it all out )but as it turns out I haven't (for no apparent reason).Somewhere in this movie the lead character Lisa played by Reese Witherspoon says the following:

“Most of the girls I play with when they are done playing ,well their plan is to meet a guy,fall in love, to have a baby ,(some include) going out to a grad school and getting a job.I am doing all those things but my problem or my challenge is I don't know If I have what it takes for everybody’s regular plan.I have never like felt that love,the guys, the whole deal,like to be honest the baby thing Never! Never! I am just good at this one thing you know and when I hear these girls talk about how in love they are or how having a baby is everything.I think they are …pretending”

It resonated so deep within me that I felt like she was practically speaking my mind ,telling my story and expressing my emotions.I was practically transfixed.It felt like some karma thingy, the completion of circle shit people often talk about.I really really don’t know where I am headed and most of the times when I hear people around me visualizing MY future life, like you are going to do this job,marry this person etc.I just marvel over their perception of certainty.What if I don’t fit in to those expectations or images.What if I don’t take the well travelled path.What if I don't wanna do all the regular things and be a regular person.What If?

Feeling Dreamy?

2011-03-13T02:41:00.001+05:00

In the midst of all the Economics and Management that I have been studying ,this February I took on the task of polishing up my knowledge base of Psychology and Human Behaviour in particular.I know most of you must be rolling your eyes with just the thought of reading about such books ,but somehow I am very inclined towards such subjects.So rather than taking on some latest medical literature ,I chose to go with a book by none other than Sigmund Freud called ‘Interpreting Dreams’.

Although a lot of his work has been declared defunct now,but If you read this book of his you would not only agree to most of it but you would also look at your self and your life in a different way. For starters this Austrian Psychologist was the pioneer of techniques that explored underlying motives to analyse disorders ,also often referred to as ‘Father of Psychology’ and subsequently he is of the opinion that dreams are windows to understanding various facets of an individual’s personality.

Because whatever we do/think is driven by our unconscious,and as some of our urges/desires are immoral or unethical we (as civil beings) suppress them,in turn these suppressed impulses come up (like bubbles do in cola drink) in hidden forms aka Dreams.So through our dreams we get to act out those suppressed urges because our guards are down and because sometimes the nature of these is so harmful/dreadful our mind transforms this disturbing content into acceptable symbols.To sum all of this up dreams are a way of ‘wish-fulfilment’

Moreover our dreams contain both what they show at surface and also some hidden underlying desires that have been conjured up .So in order to understand them we should strive to look into not only the symbols but their context and relevance to that dreamer also.So two different people having exact same dream would have totally different interpretations for them.In addition to that when interpreting dreams what we must remember that the desires for one thing or person is symbolized by something or someone else;the dreamer often propels his/her own desires and wants onto another person;mostly repressed urges or suppressed desires are acted out metaphorically and finally the dreamer hides his feelings or urges by underplaying it into a brief dream image or event.

So much is written in this book of several chapters of few hundred pages that no one could do it justice by attempting to write a review or something else along those lines.Defunct or Relevant, this book is no doubt an astounding piece of modern classic and a very profound literature that could serve as stepping stone for anybody who is keen to understand the inner workings of human mind.

Cricket Chaos Revised!

2011-03-03T22:07:00.001+05:00

Yea you guessed it right. I am one of those few people in our society that don't like cricket, I choose the ‘don't like’ phrase because I think hate would be too strong of a word. Now the point of writing this post is that I have been constantly segregated for not having passion for cricket (like few other people out there).All of my friends and almost everyone in my social circle is an avid cricket fan.

I know you would ask what’s wrong with that? Well as I quoted earlier I am not very fond of cricket and the enthusiasm that goes with it. There is limited number of channels on a Cable TV service and to top that we don’t have separate TV for every member of the family like a lot of other households in Pakistan,so as a result of this we all are supposed to share and at times forced to watch what others desire.
We the cricket ‘non-likers’ ,for one just can’t stand the annoying sound of cricket commentary, the repetitive motion and the dim humming background noise that goes with it is just excruciating, so much so I sometimes want to rip my head off ,then chop it into small pieces followed by flushing it down the drain.

It’s not that we haven’t done our bit to endure it peacefully, most of us do try to understand the game and develop the taste for it by asking questions and looking at it from different juxtapositions but still it doesn't light up any fire in my belly at least.I just can’t understand what?s to like about it. Seems pretty pointless to me if not downright shitty .Besides there are like gazillions of matches and series there is IPL ,20-20,world cup,test matches this and that ,it just doesn't end, one after another it goes on and on. Yet the obsession with sport stills grows in the case of my friends. When you ask them “you just watched this match”, they say “it was abc series, this one is xyz match”. And you just roll your eyes.

But the most unbearable part is the over-the-top enthusiasm, the yelling, cursing the opponents and jumping up down. I always have to be the mothering figure and tell them to calm down, lower the volume every time. I don’t know what is in the sports such as Soccer and Cricket that they turn seemingly calm and civil blokes into bunch of savage hooligans.

Besides that what's the deal with so many associations, they talk about the players as if they know them like “Yar he can’t do this” and the most common one “he is doing this because of that” signifying our society's infatuation with conspiracy theories. Further adding fuel to the fire are all kinds of controversies and scandals surrounding the sport .I seriously think that these petty players and the board management don't deserve all this media coverage and hype. There are more important and tasteful things/people/events that could be covered in news than which cricket player is dating/marrying who or about their alleged cold wars with each other or simply what are their thoughts on not being selected in the squad. Get a life man, put up or shut up!

Shocking are the times when the high-ups in the government change policies and suddenly some petty game of a ball and wooden bat dictates when the electricity load shedding should happen and the foreign ministry suddenly intervenes when players are accused of misconduct whereas they stay inactive in the case for artists and writers.

To put all of this ranting to an end, I would like to reassert my objective of writing this i.e. to have a voice for all those people who are not very fond of the cricket and wish somebody could speak their mind. We should all remember that it’s ok to not like a popular thing/trend and people should respect other’s choices (no matter how out of ordinary they maybe)and accept them as they are. I wish people could understand that this game of cricket is not about patriotism or religion for that matter; if our team loses we shouldn't be cursing the opponents because it is very likely that it’s just because of our own incompetence. After all it’s a just a sport not an open heart surgery (being a matter of life and death).Sportsmanship should be the virtue and recreation should be the only motive for watching it. And Rest is well just Dog Poor!

Note:This is the revision of earlier blog post cricket chaos

A case for feminism?

2011-02-25T16:35:00.001+05:00

Has anyone of you noticed that almost all of the curse words,expletives ,rude and profane language in general include either an explicit or implicit mention of females?Just run random search of all the cuss words you know and I bet more than half of them would refer to women in one way or another.Either its related to their behaviour,parentage or their body parts list goes on and on.And my curiosity doesn’t end there,do you really know what those words ‘mean’? I am sure you don’t, you just use them because you know what they are ‘perceived’ as by others.

The pivotal question is why is the female sex subject to such societal maltreatment?for instance, every other guy wants a certain kind of slutty girl as his girlfriend or partner but doesn’t want his own sister/mother behaving similarly.It ought to be a two way street.A popular singer Christina Aguilera and rapper Lil Kim sang few phrases that raise some very important questions in their song “Can’t hold us down”

The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore
I don't understand why it's okay,
The guy can get away with it, the girl gets named

Keeping that aside ,even other societal roles and behaviours at large have been made so rigid and polarized that anyone who does something unexpected is immediately rebuked and penalized.What adds fuel to the fire is the way our society has marginalized such gender issues and amalgamated them with religious beliefs.Maybe because these “radical,conservative,pseudo-religious” people have somehow entitled themselves to unquestionably dictate the do’s and taboo’s in our social setup.

This isn't exclusive to the conservative lot but the double standards exist in the uber-liberal crowd as well.On probing further some people gave the same discriminatory rant on this empowerment of women being a disguise for exploitation of theirs.Any woman who speaks her mind is easily called a ‘bitch’ because it would be easier for these abusers if she just sat and smiled.

Problem is most of us don't practice what we preach,don't act on what we believe and naturally what it all results in is contrary to what we would like to see around in the society.The women in our society need to stand up for themselves because nobody else will do that for them.And anybody who disagrees to my point of view,should just put themselves in a woman's shoes.You would automatically start to realise how lucky you are not being one because being a woman isn’t easy,especially in our society in which you are constantly ostracized. oppressed and objectified.

Conclusively I would like to point out that I am not advocating a case for feminism because to me extremism is condemnable in every form.I am just saying we should have more empathy and compassion when we deal with the ones who are different from us.

P.S Moreover walking in high-heels and waxing your hair off isn’t piece of cake either.

Socks with Sandals?

2011-02-19T02:03:00.001+05:00

Every decade or so there comes a “faux pas” that is as atrocious as the incident of widespread chronic poverty in the world.Very few things are so horrendous and appalling that one just can’t look away pretending we didn’t see it.I came across one a little while back and tried to ignore it but as I happen to be exposed to it everywhere time after time.I guess its time we should sit and address this issue of grave importance.Yes,ladies and gentlemen I am referring to this dreadful trend of people wearing socks with sandals (and more specifically with beach sandals).

I don’t understand what is the attraction in this and which brand/role model is promoting such thing,because I notice there are scores and scores of guys doing it.What worries is me is that people have accepted it as there is nothing wrong with it(Which is principally wrong).It would have been okay/acceptable if only a few people were wearing that (as there its society’s balance some people are fabulous others are just dreadful in their fashion choices) but as it seems to me it has become sort of an epidemic.

Honestly,if you are one these guys I have a very basic question for you .Why? What is it that you get from wearing socks with beach sandals that you cant get from any other ensemble? Its not even flattering on any ensemble ( let it be casual jeans or shalwar kameez). See if you want your feet to breathe, you may wear perforated shoes with socks and if the intention is to show off your beautiful and groomed feet,then just wear the sandals (without socks) .If you want your feet to be protected from externalities you wear a shoe (with socks).If getting off/removing the shoes is a hassle for you,get a pair of slippers or loafers.Its as simple as ABC,i am not telling to crack a complex equation!

Ideally,the feet are designed to be exposed to free air and sunlight from time to time for them to be healthy,so wearing socks 365 days a year is atrocity in itself.so if you wear sandals it is sartorially expected of you to show skin and NEVER under any circumstances be caught dead/alive wearing them with socks.Beach sandals were designed so in the 70s and 80s with Velcro straps so they maynot float away with beach waves when the wearer is strolling down the beach.Moreover if you need that protection of weather and stuff opt for a shoe,there are like gazillions of colours/styles/materials.hhhhhh The Shoes Heaven :)

I would conclude this post by stressing the fact that style is personal and fashion mayn't have hard-line rules, but having said that these are some matters in which there are somethings expected of you(just as morality is there in society,there is sartoriality in Fashion).Even models and fashionistas like Kanye West and David Beckham can’t pull off socks with sandals(And with you reading this, its a testament that you cant either)Opposition might defend their choice by saying that it is their mode of self-expression,but I counter their argument by illustrating that there are more tasteful ways of expressing oneself.This is certainly not one of them and they are no plausible excuses to defend such tragic choices .

P.S. Remember if everybody is doing it doesn’t mean its ok to do so!

Urban Dictionary :

“If it's hot enough for sandals, it's too hot to wear socks. If it's cold enough to wear socks, it's too cold for sandals.”

Love/Reality Bites

2011-02-17T14:35:00.001+05:00

This Valentine’s Day (last week) led me to question a lot of mundane yet closely held beliefs regarding love and relationships.Being a stereotypical Pisces ,I am what people like to refer to as hopelessly romantic and fairytale love.I wrote about dating being similar to game of snakes and ladders last year and this year its kinda sequel to that.

I feel that days like St.Valentine’s Day have somewhat been hijacked by these pseudo-love doves who spare no opportunity to rub it in single people’s faces.I guess they find it comforting that they are with someone at least (no matter if that person is the wrong one)while others are single and miserable.Because this is the day when people are ostracised in a very subliminal way in our society just because their relationship status signifies their solitary state .And you can see almost every retail store decorated in all sorts of stereotypical things and often tasteless manners.Moreover,you find out about a gazillion ways when red colour can seem most abused/horrendous.A fellow blogger couldn’t have been more on point when he wrote “(Valentines Day is) limed by expectations bigger than the day’s reality”.

Although I firmly believe that there must that perfect someone just living somewhere in the world waiting to be discovered.But even if its all true what are the odds of meeting/knowing that one perfect true love.We live in a city of millions of people,lets suppose that this person is living next door or just one block down the street let alone any other country or continent.Its virtually impossible to run in to them let alone know them.Even if they are exactly perfect and thinking the same things,but just like you/me they are in their rooms,offices and etc.Just how can we stumble across each other? Princes no longer come from far away lands and Princesses no longer wait to be rescued.

However I acknowledge the fact that Internet dating and social networking may have opened new frontiers but I am of the opinion that they have further complicated/marred this complex equation of dating rather than simplifying it.There are just so many people out there that its like trying to find a needle from the hay stack.

Greg Behrendt,an American author, once wrote the following piece that resonates a lot with my current state of mind.It goes on something like

“…. (we) are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a person punches(/teases) you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs(hair), and someday you will meet a wonderful guy/girl and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment, you never gave up hope”

Never really been lonely!

2011-01-31T01:19:00.001+05:00

Few weeks ago I watched a movie called ‘Easy A’ in which a high school student’s lie about alleged sexual experiences,changes other people’s perception of hers and radically transforms her life(My description of the movie doesn’t do justice in any way).I strongly recommend you all to watch it.So you might be wondering why am I writing this post because I don't do commercial endorsement stuff.For one,I am really seriously thinking about doing the same social experiment.

Well the reason is on one of the social networking website (facebook)on which I have quite an active online life,I noticed that people are really interested in gossiping (and often directly commenting on) about other people’s relationship statuses and linkups for no apparent reason.They like to poke their hairy noses in there and often they pick their noses too (if you know what I mean).Whenever I have put anything along these lines there I get like a gazillions of comments etc.

Although I have often written about my terminally single status on the blog.The theme of the posts often revolves around the ‘shudder inducing and clichéd experiences’ of how depressed and low I feel after I fail to find the perfect one or how hard it is when I am lonely.So in a way if you read my blog and knew me in person as well you would say it was ‘Accelerated Velocity Of Terminological Inexactitude’ or in simple words snowball effect of writing about bad experiences.They just piled up!

Well I wouldn’t say it was all untrue but the thing is I often wrote when I was sad or so.You rarely got to read about the good times, the good dates and good experiences in general.(The bad experiences and my feelings about them are real too, so don't feel ripped off)Believe me or not, after publishing each of those grey blog posts I have almost always stumbled upon somebody for example either online or around me in a chance meeting etc .I have been very fortunate to never ever have been really lonely.I always have had this just 3 days or so days of pure singlehood.I am in a way very lucky I guess.

Although most of these ‘flames’ die out as I get to know these people but these separations are more because of what I like to refer to as ‘a lady’s choice and gentleman’s agreement’ that is we agree to disagree and part ways in a very decent and civil fashion in order to avoid any future potentially compromising situations(but I have often wished that I should have hung on to a some of ‘em).I myself cant decide whether I am a genius or lunatic or just plain lovable .But I think they go hand in hand.

Praise to the Janitor/Maid!

2011-01-24T16:02:00.001+05:00

Why? Have you ever had to do all the ‘dirty deeds’ by yourself? I had to.After moving to this new place in this new city on a limited budget,somebody had to stand up to the grime,dirt and other nameless filthy stuff.In the case of our house it was me.

Back at home with my family I could have never realised how hard it is to keep a house tidy and liveable and how much effort goes into making it so.Here on my own I learned this the hard and tough way.At home we all have our housemaids,the janitor,cleaning lady,servant or any other person doing the housekeeping chores and when they don’t show up our mothers or sisters do it all from cleaning dishes and tending to kitchen to cleaning our toilets and sweeping floors etc.If you ever notice when others do the cleaning we are constantly nagging them to do it properly because they missed a spot or something.

Some time ago I took up the broom and swept the carpeted floor of my room at this new place and washed my bathroom with brushes and all.It all seemed to be very juvenile and ‘easy to do’ chores but when I actually got to doing them myself I found these things are very physically demanding and often draining.You actually get sweaty and your forearms ache.Its not that I can’t afford to hire help to do all this.But my point of doing it was that if we just can’t tend to our own needs and places that we occupy.We are in a way becoming dependant, and transferring a responsibility that in first place should be ours.It doesn't make you any less of a man.Its just work.It our work

This whole experience has taught me a lot of humility and great appreciation of how seemingly insignificant people contribute to our lives in very profound ways.It also taught me which toilet cleaner works better but its not to be discussed here.On a serious note it has also taught me that we are responsible for our own well being(nobody else can ever be) and that we should be grateful to all those people around us who help to make this life of ours a comfortable one .

Note:by the way I have often noticed that guys from the sweeper communities dress up very nice and chic in sharp ensembles with great pieces almost always better than average non-sweeping middle class guys.Probably its because their clothes come from thrift stores in Sunday markets which are mostly used European or American stuff.

Clean and Sober

2011-01-17T16:46:00.001+05:00

No I am not referring to being hygienic ,germ free and clean(well in a way I do)but what I want to address here is the pressing issue of drug/alcohol addiction and substance abuse.To amateurs who would be saying WTF in their heads ,it refers to “make bad use of something or to use so much of something that it harms one’s wellbeing”.

Why I am taking on such a tired and talked about issue? Well I recently met someone who out of nowhere turned out to be an addict , a respectable professional ,bright young fellow, full of potential and all.I don’t mean to be judgmental and preach morality (because that's not what I intend to do here).But it wont be wrong to say that I was disappointed to find out his sorry state .I couldn’t have known that because I wasn’t expecting to find it all.Now my perception regarding him is very different ,than what It could have been had I not known all these things.

As I re-evaluated people around us, to see whether others also have some sort of addictive habits or etc.It wasn’t unusual to find that a lot of people around us do, but they are just better at hiding them e.g. like I found out that a very respectable seemingly religious old gentleman has a drinking addiction etc.(Not that there is wrong with being both its his life but) I think the stigma of being judged/ostracized often forces people to sustain such addictions in secret and not bother with getting help.Which is actually horrendously wrong.You get loans for next batch or bottle ,then why not take loan for reforming/rehabilitation to end it all in the first place? anyways.When asked the addicts/substance abusers often cite the reason that it makes them feel good ,get away from social tension,relaxes them,depression and all sorts of things.But what everyone of us should realise that when we have problems we should try solving ‘them’ by addressing ‘them’, rather than using something else to fill that gap/hole.

When I did a little research regarding their use in our society I found that it started somewhere around 1960s with all that free lovin’ hippie,rebellion, smoking marijuana etc trend from the west, so much so that a song in Bollywood that crudely portrayed the leading lady smoking pot “dum maro dum” topped the charts,It must have been the pinnacle of popular acceptance.Drug use which was once seen as sinister gradually became the cool , the ‘it’ thing & people across the spectrum started taking it all as recreational thing.(By the way I for one ,don't think there is anything such as ‘Recreational drugs’)

Be it Pan,Gutka,Tobacco (both smoking and chewing),Alcohol ,Naswar,Betel nuts(chhaliya),shopping (as in my case) or anything else,if you cant stop taking that particular thing/do that activity and need to do it as often as possible .You are an Addict.Just as there isn't anything like a “half virgin” or “almost winning” in the same manner if you cant accept the fact then you are in denial of problem.Regardless of the fact such things may develop social acceptance but one has to remember that if you choose to continue , there are going to be some dire consequences if not now then surely later because its not harmless fun .

Being clean and sober means being free from all sorts of addictions (both substances and activities ).You may feel that yours is harmless compared to other addictions but little evil or big evil, its still evil and that if you don't give in to peer pressure ,you’ll be an outcast but trust me, you wont be an outcast.Moreover if you think that you are the only one being affected ,you are seriously mistaken.Remember your body is your Temple!

Imagination and Expectations

2011-01-13T00:40:00.001+05:00

In an effort to spend my free time productively (as people often like to it refer to),I decided to catch up on my reading in the winter holidays.What I wounded up reading was a very interesting book called “Stumbling on Happiness” by Daniel Gilbert.The title may sound like a self help book,but fortunately it wasn’t.

The book talks about how people mis-imagine their lives (rather than predicting it) by making mistakes that are virtually very easy/normal to make,and the author goes on to support all these claims with cutting edge research in psychology and human behaviour in particular.Enough of the boring mumbo-jumbo,the interesting aspect is that after reading it, I started to wonder that , is human race doomed to fail ? Because all of these biases and errors (in way we behave and think) seem almost automatic and unavoidable.

When I think about this subject of misperception and flawed imagination of future,more specifically in respect to love and dating,raised a very plausible argument in my head ,that all our lives we fantasize or wish to get that hot model as our partner,that shining sports luxury car (or whatever other superficial thing) determined by our socio-cultural setup but what if all of these things aren’t meant for us/right for us.

I for a fact know for sure that I cannot live with Angelina Jolie or Noah Mills as my romantic partner or etc because I wouldn’t be able to ‘gel in’ or match up to ‘em, tell me honestly would you be ok with their steamy scenes with co-stars? OR be able to walk down the street with them or bring em in to meet/live with your family? or anything else that goes with being famous and hot ? I can’t .Same is the case when young girls wish for the Prince Charming or Knight in shining armour,boys dream of rich and beautiful Princesses but have we ever thought that Knight in shining armour might start sword fighting with us since he is aggressive,or that Princess might be too vain ,spoiled and high maintenance ?In essence our imagination fails to realize that once these things actually happen they would feel different.

Meanwhile,a goody good friend of mine told me an old saying that goes something like “everyone is someone’s beloved”, I disagree to this fundamentally,as some people are supposed to stay single/unloved.First there isn’t a balance of people to make couples and second where would all the sexworkers and other such things go, where would they it in fit in the equation of our society.Dating,marrying or procreating in general isn’t for everybody thats why there are terms such as ‘asexual’ ‘single’ and etc

Author concludes with asserting the fact that happiness is relative and highly abstract in nature.So to avoid getting burned by our shortcomings( in expecting our feelings),he suggests that we should use other people’s experiences to realistically predict our future.Lets see, I’ll try doing it and see what happens.

Important Note

2011-01-08T13:13:00.001+05:00

Well there are a few things that need to be addressed here.I started writing this blog about an year ago and certainly It has come a long way.People who have visited and sometimes read this blog had some very good things and sometimes very bad things to say.

First of all let me clarify the fact that I am NOT a ‘professional blogger’ or a writer so to say.I write because I have lots of things going on in my mind and writing is very comforting.So there is no commercial objective behind any of the things at this blog.Neither do I intend to change the world radically ,rather all of this is for me to reflect upon and for people to relate to (or hopefully get inspired from).

Secondly, I admit the fact that I am not really good at it.The writing is littered with bad grammar ,repetitive vocabulary and all other sorts of problems.I realize all of this and its a humble request that anyone of you who finds an error should point it out to me so I can improve on it.

Thirdly,I DO use third party content ( other people’s stuff) in my post,I often repost stuff from other sources as well.And I never intend to claim it as my own.Although I would strive to do a better job at mentioning their sources from this day onwards.

Finally,my beliefs/opinions are mine and I have no intentions of pushing it down anybody’s throat.It is a personal blog and I am not preaching morality or religion or anything else besides better fashion choices :P .Although I do encourage dialogue and I accommodate diversity in all forms and sorts .I hope all of this clears out some of your queries.Rest of the things are mentioned at the bottom of blog page in the portion titled Disclaimer.

Thank you!

Recollecting 2010

2010-12-26T11:34:00.001+05:00

As this year draws to a close in less than week ,I try to recollect the experiences I had and people I met in 2010.I cant help but be fulfilled and content because this year was eventful to say the least.Although like every other year in history we (Pakistanis) are confronted with crises, so the skies are clouded grey and there are more frowns than smiles but still there is a little hope.And this time it is particularly different because I reached many a milestones in my personal life.I did things that I always dreamed of and been to places most of people aspire to go to.

I read somewhere that this year was particularly gruesome and brutal in our history and it didn't surprise me because there were indeed more deaths owing to bomb blasts,target killings,and violence in every imaginable form.But the recent flood of biblical proportions proved to be catastrophic and devastating to millions of people on an unimaginable scale .In my life of over two decades I have never seen such calamitous and baneful natural disaster and in a way it humbled me because I realized how helpless mankind could be.

The sadistic killing of two brothers in Sialkot,the beastly act of raping minors and countless other cruel acts have led me to question the very crux of humanity.I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that people are capable of such barbaric and savage behaviour.Its not that such acts haven't happened before but what startles me the most is the frequency of such reports,they have become such a rampant occurrence now that It greatly disturbs me.

‘Terrorists’ attacks were also sadly quite prevalent from attacks at tombs of famous saints and mosques to attacks at headquarters of security officials and even schools.Nobody and no place seems to be spared ,the gripping aspect of such attacks is that they haven't lost the element of shock and fear.Tales of Corruption and inefficiency of Government further added to the pains.However as a society we seem to have been gradually desensitized by the unregulated/uncensored coverage of such events by the Media.Over the course of past 5 years I have seriously started to question the Media’s impartiality and a sense of responsibility.

2010 was also high on miles because I travelled a lot (probably more than I ever have in my whole life).I also had trip to the culturally rich and beautiful Lahore for the very first time and at the end of the day was perplexed to realise that there isn’t that much of a difference between Karachi and Lahore.The difference is seriously overplayed (at least to me it is).

More miles were added in the process of moving to Karachi.As previously mentioned it is very life changing one .I got to know about my liberties and at worst my boundaries.It has turned out to be a great learning experience.There is an old saying that “for a frog living in deep well,his whole world is that deep well”.That pretty much sums up how I see now.

As a result of all this travelling I began to see new people and realise the similarities,and on the other hand I also got to see the old ones in new light (and it wasn't all that flattering for few of them).During this process of socialization I also met few vey interesting characters worthy of mention e.g. hard-line preachers ,atheistic pseudo-liberals and some conspiracy theorists.I have no clue why people choose to go into these territories and why they have to blame others simply or poke their hairy noses into others’ business ,I suppose it has to do with feeling better about their own incompetence and inaction.But I still think its unjustified.

Two people who were born in this week of December, the Prophet Jesus Christ and Politician Muhammad Ali Jinnah always preached for tolerance,forgiveness,unity and unshakeable faith among other virtues to incorporate in our lives.I wonder where we, as humans, are headed without them .I hope the year ahead 2011 is more promising and peaceful for dreamers (such as me) all over the world.

No place like HOME

2010-12-13T02:24:00.001+05:00

If you have moved away from your home and into another city (that is particularly distant) then you might relate a lot to this piece.I as many of you know moved from a small city to bustling metropolis more than 600 km south about 5 months back.This transition has been both a blessing and at times a curse.I wrote about the bitter experiences in past few posts but what makes this one special is I never really got to write about how it really feels when you are back home after long time.

So what struck me the most is ,I didn't think that I would get used to my new city that soon but as I was packing for my journey back home,there was this sense of belongingness that I felt ,I didn't wanna let go of.I was contemplating what would I do there? my whole life is here now.Whereas people back home and friends were expecting me to feel homesick and nostalgic.I wasn’t rather I was doing the maths of lost sleep and fatigue due to travel and all.

Once I got home,it was just strange experience for me .Because I had gotten used to being on my own and doing my own stuff lately.The moment you get off the plane,the train or the bus,it all just starts coming back.There is strange calmness that you feel when you step your foot down on the ground.You know your game it as simple as that!Driving home you look at roads,buildings and almost always you complain about their sorry state not realising the fact that you have been in a bigger better city just how the hell you’re going to like your small town now?

The doting mom,the inquisitive sibling and the guarding father suddenly go into an overdrive.You are transformed into a celebrity all of a sudden,even worse it sometimes feels you are going to die of terminal disease,so they are just caring for your remaining days.

There is this endless bombardment of questions regarding how is this thing there? that place there? It just feels very weird.Then its your turn asking about whereabouts of relatives,friends and neighbours.You may even meet up with a few and have conversations regarding pleasant days gone by,only to realise that you no longer have anything else to talk about or common interests to relate to.Some of them even feel you have become snobbish and boastful because you live in a bigger city now.Sometimes unconsciously you behave like so too.

It just goes on and on .But here I am wondering that if ‘there is no place like home’ then which ‘home’ is it referring to old one or the new one.I don't wanna get used to this comfy , breakfast in bed,menu in dinner home of mine,because soon i would have to travel back to my no-nonsense city home and live a Spartan lifestyle.

Money Matters

2010-11-30T16:35:00.001+05:00

‘Living away from one’s family is not economical at all’-this is what I have learned in the past 4 months of living solo (or at least without my parents).Those itsy bitsy things that need to be taken care of often cost a lot of time and dough (money that is).Things like a changing a Light bulb or fixing a doorknob etc fairly random stuff doesn’t come cheap anymore.I for one had never been responsible for these kinda chores back home so it feels like climbing Everest when one has to get them done.

From the get go I have never been good with my money,growing up I was spoiled ,then moving on into my teens I became a shopaholic,now just into my tweens (although i have reformed over my addiction for shopping but still) I find it very hard to perform this balancing act of spending wisely.Whenever I get decent chunk of money ,I either spend it impulsively on good quality items but on items that are oft of little use at the that time like a fiction book during exams or pure wool sweater in the month of June etc,so then when I am desperately in need of some cash for some important thing like food or transport etc. I am left with none.Probably this is one of the remnants of my shopaholic past.Seems as if I have some major financial management issues.

I have always lived on this philosophy that having a little bit of something great is better than having a lot of something so-so.Moreover I don't like to be just like everyone else,so I almost always prefer to go for things that are one-of-a-kind,limited editions and exclusives.things because I feel clothes etc are modes of self-expression so one must approach it accordingly. Besides that my parents have raised me in way that I have some standards regarding quality that I never compromise upon things like food,mode of transport,personal care items, clothing or the way I carry myself .I may cut back on quantity or frequency of usage but never never on quality.I sound very snobby spoiled brat,don't I?

However some of my flatmates have shown me totally different perspective about money,i.e. they have given whole new meaning to term ‘cheapster’.Now this might hurt some but its my space so I guess I can speak my mind.Being frugal and thrifty is one thing but there is a fine line between being that and being downright cheap and thievery .I understand everybody doesn't have ample means but one can always trim their expenses.Things like not tipping at a restaurant,bargaining for as little as 3% of price ,crying out on buying packaged meat/eggs just because it is 3 rupees more expense then its dirtier unregulated alternative,storming out of a restaurant just before placing an order but after getting a table just because its 15 more expensive than what you thought etc What about common etiquette,manners ,civility and common sense in general?.Why don’t you cut back upon making calls to your girlfriend or the movies that you watch or the socializing with your friends? hmm!

To conclude this post i quote another writer Tara Struyk who recently wrote in Investopedia:

“If you've cut your budget so far that you need to resort to taking advantage of others, consider yourself cheap. The same is true if your sense of frugality begins to look more like austerity or self-denial.Budgeting and saving money should be a measured approach to reach a financial goal , not an end in and of themselves”

Cricket Chaos

2010-11-07T00:20:00.001+05:00

Yea you guessed it right.I don't like cricket ,I choose the ‘don't like’ phrase because I think hate would be strong word.Now the point of writing this post is that I have several flatmates and more than half of them are avid cricket fans.I know you would ask ‘what’s wrong with that?’ ,well to be honest I am not very fond of cricket and the enthusiasm that goes with it.There is only one TV that we all are supposed to share and I for one cant stand the sound of cricket commentary and the dim humming background noise is just excruciating,so much so I sometimes want to tear my f-ing head off and then chop it into small pieces followed by flushing it down the drain.

I have done my bit to endure it peacefully,most of the game I have tried to understand by asking questions but still it doesn't light up any fire in my belly.I just cant understand what’s to like about it.Seems pretty pointless if not downright shitty to me.Besides there are like gazillions of matches and series ,it just doesn't end one after another it goes on and on.Yet the obsession with sport grows in the case of my flatmates.I ask them you just watched this match,they say it was abc series,this one is xyz match.And i just roll my eyes

The most unbearable part is the over-the-top enthusiasm,the yelling ,cursing the opponents and jumping up down.I always have to be the mothering figure and tell them to clam down,lower the volume every time.Besides that what's the deal with so many associations,they talk about the players as if they know them like ‘Yar he cant do this’ and the most common one ‘he is doing this because of that’.Furthermore there are all kinds of controversies and scandals surrounding the sport further adding to media fire.I seriously think that these petty players don't deserve all this coverage and hype. There are more important things/people/events to be covered in news than which cricket player is dating/marrying who or about their alleged cold wars with each other.Get a life ,put up or shut up!

There are even times when the high-ups in the government change policies and suddenly a petty game of a ball and wooden bat dictates when the electricity load shedding should happen and the foreign ministry suddenly intervenes in sports matters.I wish people could understand that its not about patriotism ,if our team loses we shouldn't be cursing the opponents.after all its a just a sport not a open heart surgery being a matter of life and death.Sportsmanship should be the virtue and recreation should be the only motive.Rest is well just Dog Poo!

Disconnect

2010-10-30T23:59:00.001+05:00

Some of the issues that have been bothering me a lot these days could be summed up into just one abstract “disconnect”.In all our lives we make various connections and certainly i refer to the word “connection” in a broader profound sense not the just techy meaning it has come to be associated with these days.

This living far away from my family for the very first time, has started to have very far reaching impact on me .I don't know what was going inside my head when i thought I could live with these flatmates of mine.Nevertheless the most pressing issue faced is the one which I wrote about earlier .Yes its my roommate.I have been so annoyed and disturbed by his antics lately that sometimes its just too much to shake off.I have been contemplating to throw him out of this place that we are staying at but things aren’t that plain and simple.Life is like cat entangled in Hodge-Podge of threads and this cat (me) is at the edge of cliff.

Moreover I got an internet connection from a new hip ISP ,which I later found out that they deceptively marketed the service to me ,so halfway through the month the service went sombre or put it more bluntly it just died. I felt like the kid who goes to buy an ice-cream cone and just when he is about have his the second lick the ice-cream cone slips off his hand and lands on the ground.The kid just is left standing there ,just a nudge away from crying because he knew ice-cream tasted so good but he can no longer have it.Although I kicked and screamed (in a literal sense of course) to express my condemnation of bad service of ISP by registering complains and kind of de-marketed their brand by bad worth of mouth.

But all of these experiences this month made me learn a very interesting yet very common sense lesson i.e. we have to be careful and cautious in regards with the people and things we connect ourselves to.Its just not that association factor but also that these are easier to build and hard to disconnect.I may just stop using the ISP service abruptly and through in the face but I cannot do the same in the case of my roommate because humans have feelings and very big mouth to spew bad word.Even if the person doesn't got out and bitch out about me what would others think they don't know what really goes on here at our place.

Looking back I regret a lot of my choices and decisions but nothing can be done now because regardless of how the consequences have been, at least i made some decisions on my own and learned major lessons .All I can do now is to stand up to them, take ownership of my actions and honour the contracts because i cannot ‘afford’ to disconnect,

Beauty & Relative Attraction

2010-10-25T19:21:00.001+05:00

Has there ever been an incident in your life when you are sitting with a group of people , an attractive guy/girl walks by,you nudge your friends to notice and they say :”her/him? are you out of your mind?”.You are left baffled just sitting there thinking what's wrong with them?. It seems to me that everybody around me has a very different taste/preference from mine when it comes to beauty.

Maybe this all has to do with the environment/people you are exposed to.Apparently media does really have a lot of influence on who and what we find attractive /beautiful,all those whistles and bells everywhere certainly define standards.But that’s totally different debate. Moreover what i have come to realize is that a person’s attractiveness is totally relative not absolute,who you are with greatly determines how much/less attractive you are perceived (note: perceived, not are).how did i come about this theory?

Well my observation has been that if you are an average looking Schmo or Joe (choose one) and you choose to hang around with other average looking people or the ones who are comparatively better than ugly ones;as a result you appear attractive or at least acceptable.Whereas if you choose to hang around with exceptionally good looking or ugly people,you appear ugly or at least less attractive.i don't know if this phenomenon applies under every circumstance but regardless i speculate it to be so.

Below are a few women who i find attractive ,but most my friends beg to differ

from left to right :Naomi Campbell,Tyra Banks,Malaika Arora Khan and Yasmin Warsame

Closing Cycles

2010-10-20T02:35:00.001+05:00

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.

You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister. Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.
Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.
Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Borrowed from Paolo Coelho’s Blog

Trading Spaces

2010-10-05T02:13:00.001+05:00

I never thought living with strangers would be as hard as it has turned out to be.It is rightly said that if you want to know a person well enough ,you have to share things/experiences with them.Well that’s just words,put those into action and you would realise It aint that easy to go through.I recently moved in an apartment with a couple of friends and as days have gone by ,I have come to know each and every one of them so closely that I regret knowing them at all.Yes you read it correctly, I said it and it aint a typo mistake.

Being the only child and always have been quite spoiled/unsharing kind,this new arrangement has come to a moment that I am one the verge of going crazy.I also admit that i am not one of the easiest people to live with,but there are some things that are supposed to be norms like cleanliness,courtesy and comfort that I assume to be of utmost importance.Whereas my roommate has the exact opposite feelings regarding the previously mentioned stuff.To put it subtly I would quote that ‘Its really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs’.But wait wait don’t go all discriminating elitist shit on me,take it as an analogy,or at least try taking it as one.

I tired and tried to compromise,negotiate and every other ‘fancy-shmancy’ word in conflict management, but trust me they don't work if you are in the rut (it just same as Israel-Palestine situation if not worse).I consider that the cause of all my problems is nothing but difference of opinions and priorities.Some people just have different set of priorities.So i have decided try to keep it down for as long as I can bear it.But don’t expect serenity & clear skies forever and after ,because being the drama queen that I am i wont continue on taking crap from my roommate as if its fast-food takeaway. I can flip anytime if not now.I am like a dormant volcano.pun intended,

To everybody out there,considering a roommate arrangement I have one word ‘ Beware’.It is very possible not to get what your roommate wants, but both sides need to make a conscious effort to avoid spreading germs. Like our mothers always told us, cover your cough.and just in case if my roommates reads it , I want to say ‘Share everything but don't take things that aren't yours and put things back where you found them’

What’s money got to do with it

2010-09-10T13:17:00.001+05:00

Money no matter how much you have of it, there is always some more you can have.I was visiting a friend recently who moved to Karachi in order to study professional accounting ,although he was like any other young adult ho move for better prospects but this one particular intrigues me the most because I know him so much and for so long .Ok here it is,last week when I was visiting him I came to know that he was studying (busting his ass) something that he knew wouldn’t like doing(as in job) but was doing it for the money(high pay in future).

It doesn't make sense ,I mean I have always thought that one should do a job that is most emotional/psychological fulfilling or gratifying and the money part would follow since you would be so passionate about your work .When did all this turn around i mean doing something that you don’t like ,wasting money/effort on that and that only for better pay after you graduate or something.

The next week I thought about what my friend said,he wasn’t doing that job for the dream money and I was wasting shit loads of money so i could have the dream job.So there you have it you have got a job with low/no pay and lots of money with low/no job.Which had a better shot at survival? I couldn't help but wonder what comes first the chicken or the egg?

Some thoughts by Marilyn Monroe

2010-09-10T03:25:00.001+05:00

A sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing. Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt and bewildered.I don't mind being burdened with being glamorous and sexual. Beauty and femininity are ageless and can't be contrived, and glamour, although the manufacturers won't like this, cannot be manufactured. Not real glamour; it's based on femininity

An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like a machine. A money machine.Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one. Fame will go by and, so long, I’ve had you, fame. So at least it’s something I experience, but that’s not where I live. I have too many fantasies to be a housewife. I guess I am a fantasy.If I'm a star, then the people made me a star.Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.

I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else.I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful.To put it bluntly, I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation. But I’m working on the foundation.I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent.It’s often just enough to be with someone. I don’t need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You’re not alone.A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night.I don’t mind living in a man’s world as long as I can be a woman in it.Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.But It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.

If I’d observed all the rules, I’d never have got anywhere.We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets.

By Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe (June 1, 1926 – August 5, 1962), born Norma Jeane Mottelson, was an American actress, singer and model

Faking it

2010-09-10T02:58:00.001+05:00

Have you ever faked it? hmm I have.no no I am not talking about what you think I am.I am just referring to pretence aspect and lies.Although I have talked about masks people wear and lies that they tell themselves.But this one is more specifically about outright acting to feel important or to show others you are big hot-shot.

I really don't understand when even in casual meetings I come across people and when they are telling me about who they are and where they come from,they lie profusely about their supposedly long heritage or family name,riches and what not.Some people change the way they spell their names, others drop them while some radical ones change them altogether.Why this exaggeration?.Isn’t it more noble to come from humble roots and make it big, rather than being from an affluent background & turn up well?.Just ponder over it!

I personally think that the latter situation is easy task,what's that person’s contribution for the being at the place s/he is right now, as all the ground work would have been laid down by forefathers.Beside sooner or later to continue this game of fables and fibs that person would have to find some corroborating evidence to supplement his false claims of grandeur.Why lie in the first place?

But for me the answer to all these questions came out another passion of mine that is all things design and art.Wonder how? Well haven't you come across people wearing/carrying designer knock offs or fakes ,that is the same juxtaposition as in lying about your name and heritage stuff etc .

I once came across a person who was(like me) obsessed about all things design and art but unlike me was willing to wear/carry knock offs.I asked him how could you wear something that you know doesn't really have all those detail and nice things associated with it.He replied that yes he understood that it is in no way as gratifying as the real thing but that's what only he knew, others mostly didn’t.As others mistake him for being the real deal so he isn’t fooling himself but others that he belongs to that particular group.

All of his ranting didn't make much sense to me but what I got from this debate with him is that people would go to extreme lengths to make themselves appear nice in front of others especially in terms of social class they belong to.but it all boils down to one thing that is Michael Jackson was black no matter how white his skin seemed over the years and Dillip Kumar is in fact a Pathan no matter what name he chose to be called.

Some thoughts by Rumi

2010-09-07T12:53:00.001+05:00

If in thirst you drink water from a cup, you see God in it. Those who are not in love with God will see only their own faces in it.Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Observe the wonders as they occur around you. Don't claim them. Feel the artistry moving through and be silent.Silence is an ocean. Speech is a river. Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation.Since in order to speak, one must first listen, learn to speak by listening.

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.Everyone sees the unseen in proportion to the clarity of his heart, and that depends upon how much he has polished it. Whoever has polished it more sees more - more unseen forms become manifest to him.

Reason is like an officer when the king appears. The officer then loses his power and hides himself. Reason is the shadow cast by God; God is the sun.God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly, not one.Paradise is surrounded by what we dislike; the fires of hell are surrounded by what we desire.

Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.No mirror ever became iron again; No bread ever became wheat; No ripened grape ever became sour fruit. Mature yourself and be secure from a change for the worse. Become the light!

By Rumi

Jalāl ad-Dīn Mohammad Balkh, or Rumi (30 September 1207 – 17 December 1273), was a 13th-century Persian Muslim poet, jurist, theologian, and Sufi mystic.

Excerpts from “By the river Piedra I sat down and wept’

2010-09-07T12:25:00.001+05:00

One doesn’t love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. If we act that way, we are perceiving the other as a simple object, and we seeing ourselves as wise and generous persons. This has nothing to do with love. To love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God.

You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.

Every day, God gives us the sun – and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day, we try to pretend that we haven’t perceived the moment, that it doesn’t exist – that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if people really pay attention in their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment. It may arrive in the instant when we are doing something mundane, like putting our front-door key in the lock; it may lie hidden in the quiet that follows the lunch hour or in the thousand and one things that all seems the same to us. But that moment exists – a moment when all the power of the stars becomes a part of us and enables us to perform miracles.

Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment help us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments – but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken.

I could have. What does this phrase mean? At any given moment in our lives, there are certain things that could have happened but didn’t. The magic moments go unrecognized, and then suddenly, the hand of destiny changes everything.
But love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current.
Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.

I’m going to fight for your love. There are some things in life that are worth fighting for to the end. You are worth it.

By Paolo Coelho

Borrowed from Paolo Coelho’s Blog

Some Thoughts by Buddha

2010-08-31T22:34:00.000+05:00

A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.

Ambition is like love, impatient both of delays and rivals.

However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them? An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground.

The tongue like a sharp knife… Kills without drawing blood.

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.

Siddhārtha Gautama, regarded as the Supreme Buddha ( The time of his birth and death are uncertain: most early 20th-century historians dated his lifetime as c. 563 BCE to 483 BCE)

Baby talk is cheap!

2010-07-28T15:24:00.001+05:00

Yes we all agree on that one.but if we re arrange the sentence then you’ll come to meaning that I want all of you to understand i.e. baby talk.’Baby talk’ the term refers to all things babies,toddlers,their lives,clothing,problems and all those itsy-bitsy baby pink/powder blue thingies.I have named it so because i am f-ing annoyed to the point i want to rip their heads off, and as I seem to grow older and older I continue to come across babies/children who just break across my threshold in terms angering and frustrating me.

Many people say I have very little tolerance and I shouldn’t forget the fact that I for one was also a baby (a decade or so back).But my parents can testify for the fact that I was very cultured, refined and basically ‘never-gotten-into-trouble’ type.Whereas children of this age are freakishly annoying ,sometimes I suspect as if there on steroids or something.There are running around back forth in a room,making all sorts of sounds that just tick me off.

What’s worse is that otherwise cool normal people turn into boring yapping machines once they have babies,everything every conversation seems to revolve around children this and that.Don’t know what happens.they had their own lives before.

All of my suffering is aggravated by the fact that there is a paediatrician’s clinic next door to my house,so there is an endless sound of babies crying on top of their lungs and that even before anybody has touched them I am not just talking about babies as in new-borns but all the children.

Moreover what's worse than all of the above things is people having babies but not caring for them properly and letting them free to run here and there.If one has a baby then that person is responsible for that child’s safety and all other people who come in contact with that baby.if your child has some disease or habit of ripping books off/breaking things at other people places then be prepared to see your child be disciplined by that affected one.

And lastly what's up with people who have random baby photos all over , in their rooms,photo albums ,even their own display pictures.What the hell man?.has this world become a giant maternity ward or something.Beside I totally disagree with the fact that all babies are cute and lovely.Some babies are good and bearable , others are just plain ugly and bad period

Annoying bragster storyteller

2010-07-13T22:37:00.001+05:00

Before you start questioning me and googling the word '”bragster” in the title, I must point out its not a proper word ,I just made it up from “brag” as in boasting or showing off.I decided to write about his because just a little time ago I came across a person at the place I am doing internship at and I got so pissed off by his annoying behaviour that I wished I could just shoot my head off because he wont shut up.

Lets profile this person, trust me we all have such likeness in our environment, one just has to be vigilant and judgemental enough :P like me to realize that they are so annoying.They are usually less educated or just plain dumb, worn out so much that they resemble worn-out shoes with flapping soles and holes,obsessive about telling stories about their very rich experience and finally they have a an erroneous belief of high self-worth.

So this guy who is considerably quite older than me ,seems like a normal person and stuff but little did I know that I was in for disaster he just starts from his introduction ,I re arrange myself in my seat ,he goes on on and on.I rest my head on arms, I lean towards the wall,I cross my legs ,huh but he wont stop .It seemed as if he was on some energizer battery shit.It is not that I don't like talkative people(rather i love ‘em & I am one of them) but the content of his discourse just didn't make any sense and started to become very annoying over time.

At first I just tried to ignore but he starts off from where he was born ,the amazing philanthropic deeds he has done,the skills he has acquired over time and their importance to his life,he even told us the stories about his experience at some doctor’s clinic how he exhibited his talent by talking in 5 different languages,the silly jokes he cracks up,then there was the hardships in life saga.What does all this has to do with internship tasks? He goes on and on and on for well over 45 minutes.He kept glorifying himself as if he was the cover story on Forbes magazine and his past employers were like Wal-Mart and IBM.Gentleman if you were that good they would have kept you there not laid you off.

Irony is he is just a high school graduate street-smart, he wont even be able to read this even.yet he lectures us on things such as what is the difference between marketing and sales or publicity and advertising(and he miserably fails at that because he doesn't know of that shit, I fucking memorized whole books on these topics like a parrot )What the hell does he think we marketing graduates do for 4 years in business schools.arghhhh so would you please just shut up!

He and people like him just remind of that announcement sounds on the railway stations or circus, as I never even come close to understanding them it is just noise for me .I know some might think I am being very judgemental about the guy and certainly very rude.But you had to be in that washing machine of room .Omg!

I’ll end this post with a quote to reflect upon which is:

“He who is humble is confident and wise. He who brags is insecure and lacking.”- Lisa Edmondson

Being Tall

2010-07-09T00:52:00.001+05:00

At 5' feet eleven inches ,i represent a minority of South Asian population who are considered to naturally gifted to be above average in terms of height aka tall and yes people in China really do have life threatening invasive procedures just to gain a few inches.But I for one have come to hate my being tall in the past few days.

Male beauty is often described by use of terms “tall and dark ” but trust me its such a cliché.I haven't come across any person who has such criteria when evaluating, These days all people want is fair skin and short stocky builds (just run a list of popular celebs you’ll get my point,Think Taylor Lautner ,Emraan Hashmi, Amir Khan).

People who are vertically challenged may disagree with me but you have got to trust me on this one that being tall has nothing to do with getting a hot date or being successful professionally (except basketball and modelling of course) .How do can I be so sure ? Well for one I am a living proof of this argument and here are some facts:

In public transport such as busses and trains the seats are so closed up together that you cannot sit properly and almost always have to sit in a twisted manner so that your knees don't jam up to the seat in front of you.Not just that the clothing which is usually imported from Far East is for midgets literally ,most of the stuff I seem to like doesn’t fit me.I have to buy extra large sizes and trim ‘em..Atrocities don't just end there, often the ceilings (and the ceiling fans) of the rooms are so low I cant stretch my arms to rid myself of stress for the fear of cutting my hands off.Moreover to add insult to injury family members ask you all sorts of ridiculous favours such as could you please take down that thing from the shelf .You cannot stand and look straight up because if you carry yourself that way people will consider you a snob arrrghhhh! (the ranting goes on)

Please give us a break!

So you know the world isn’t favourable to tall people at all rather these days only two things are appreciated for their being tall i.e.skyscrapers and giraffes.Not humans.But I end this post on a positive note i.e.

“Being tall is an advantage, People will always remember you. And if you're in a crowd, you'll always have some clean air to breathe.”-Julia Child

Che Overkill

2010-07-03T23:06:00.001+05:00

Is it just me or there are a lot of people wearing Che Guevara insignia particularly T-shirts everywhere, its certainly an overkill.It is not just the fact that it is fad and a bad one but what bothers me the most is that people (mostly delusional teenagers) don’t even know who he is and what he stands for.People think he is the fictional character from the movie ‘Motorcycle Diaries’.

Lets start dissecting this over-killed fad.The person in question is Mr.Che Guevara.he was a South American revolutionary and responsible for fate of many nations there today .Ernesto “Che” Guevara is a darling of popular culture, that famous image by Alberto Korda appearing on posters, couture bags, and T-shirts worn by everyone from movie stars to the kid next door.Che is celebrated by Hollywood and Madison Avenue as both saint and sex symbol. Angelina Jolie sports a Che tattoo, and Madonna, Carlos Santana, Mike Tyson, and Johnny Depp have been seen in T-shirts bearing Che’s image. So this trend eventually spread like a malaria here to our society as well.They discard we

Wouldn’t it better if people started to pay a little attention to what is printed on their clothing,this reminds of the incident when Prince Harry of England irresponsibly wore a swastika sign on his arm unaware of the far reaching consequences .Youngsters specifically seem to spend almost half of their time getting ready, so why don’t they expend a little effort on knowing who that bearded gentleman is.

Moreover,Che is as foreign to us as Africa is to snowfall ,so why are all these local companies printing his image.I am not trying to undermine his efforts or anything, its just that What about our own Asian revolutionaries? .There are so many out here who deserve all this publicity for their huge contribution to society like Imam Khomeini ,Chairman Mao ,Quaid-e-Azam or Gandhi etc

Furthermore he was a Marxist,however the greatest irony to me is that Che, who despised capitalism, is himself now a capitalist brand, his likeness adorning key chains, lighters, hoodies, mugs, infant wear, tank tops, bandannas, baseball caps, wallets, toques, bags, posters, blue jeans , of course, the ubiquitous T-shirts and all other sorts of absurd items.

So it is my humble request to the fashion victims and all other species of wanna-bes.Please stop wearing Che Guevara gear, because first you don't know who he is and second it doesn’t have that exclusivity factor anymore either, it has become sort of like a uniform. A plain solid coloured T-shirt is still the hottest thing out there and so keep it simple and uncluttered . I hope you all get my point .Thank You:p

Thoughts about Love by Paolo Coelho

2010-06-21T15:27:00.001+05:00

I’m going in search of the adventure of being alive.

And it’s complicated: why am I not looking for happiness when everyone has taught me that happiness is the only goal worth pursuing?

Why am i going to risk taking a path that no one else is taking?After all, what is happiness?

Love, they tell me. But love doesn’t bring and never has brought happiness.

On the contrary, its a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; its sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we’re doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony.All right then, peace.

Peace? If we look at the Mother, she’s never at peace. The winter does battle with the summer, the sun and d moon never meet, the tiger chases the man, who’s afraid of the dog, who chases the cat, who chases the mouse, who frightens the man.

Money brings happiness. Fine. In that case, everyone who earns enough to have a high standard of living would be able to stop work. But then they’re more troubled than ever, as if they were afraid of losing everything. Money attracts money, that’s true. Poverty might bring unhappiness, but money wont necessarily bring happiness.I spent a lot of my life looking for happiness, now what i want is joy.

Joy is like sex – it begins and ends. I want pleasure. I want to be contended, but happiness? I no longer fall into that trap.

by Paulo Coelho ( “The Witch of Portobello” )

P.S.Borrowed from Paolo Coelho’ Blog

Some thoughts by Coco Chanel

2010-06-17T00:44:00.001+05:00

Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. I invented my life by taking for granted that everything I did not like would have an opposite, which I would like. There is no time for cut-and-dried monotony. There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time! Jump out the window if you are the object of passion. Flee it if you feel it. Passion goes, boredom remains.

Elegance does not consist in putting on a new dress. Elegance is not the prerogative of those who have just escaped from adolescence, but of those who have already taken possession of their future. Elegance is refusal.

Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening. Fashion fades, only style remains the same.Fashion is made to become unfashionable

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.A woman has the age she deserves.Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.Look for the woman in the dress. If there is no woman, there is no dress.A women who doesn't wear perfume has no future.

Some people think luxury is the opposite of poverty. It is not. It is the opposite of vulgarity. Luxury must be comfortable, otherwise it is not luxury.

I don't know why women want any of the things men have when one the things that women have is men.As long as you know men are like children, you know everything!

By Coco Chanel

Gabrielle Bonheur “Coco” Chanel (pronounced as sha-nel) (19 August 1883 – 10 January 1971) was a pioneering French fashion designer whose modernist philosophy, menswear-inspired fashions, and pursuit of expensive simplicity made her an important figure in 20th-century fashion. The author of the blog considers her one of his biggest inspirations.

P.S. borrowed from Paolo Coelho’s blog

All or nothing

2010-06-15T16:09:00.001+05:00

One of the greatest things about living a great life is that one is comfortable enough to let go of it because it makes us feel fulfilled and complete just being there.People say one would very lucky to think in that direction or must be very depressed inside to wander into such territories.But I honestly am at such a crossroad in my Life that even if I die next minute, I wont regret it.I have already been immensely blessed.what's more to life ? I have it all.

Really what's more could you ask for If you have loving family,fun group of friends to talk to,a comfortable home to live in and a great youthful body.But then I suddenly remember those stark realities(the bad stuff) that are nothing short of being awake in a nightmare .All of sudden that cloud of goodliness just spoofs away.So like a kid I just shake my head, pretend nothing of this sort every happened and just make a pledge to strive for better.As Mariah Carey in her song sing” I gotta shake it off..shake shake shake it off”

I question myself what does “having it all” means then? Have you heard that Britney Spears’s song called ‘lucky’ which goes something like “and they say she’s so lucky she’s a star but why why why does this lonely heart thinking and if there is nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night?”.Does it ring any bells? hmm!

Just ponder over the choices we are presented with in our Life.Since birth we the so called modern generation have been told that we can do and be anything we want,be it an astronaut ,head of Internet company,a doctor there aren't any rules anymore and the choices are endless.But is it possible, that we have gotten so spoiled by our choices that we have become unable to make one, and that a part of us knows that once we choose something (one great shirt,one great partner etc) another option goes away.Are we a generation of people who cant just chose one from column A,do we have too much to handle.Or can we really really practically “have it all”?

So for some unfortunate souls like me it just takes an F-grade in a paper, a bad hair day or even something more trivial and negligible to make me feel I have “nothing”.a fast private jet flight from a rainbow spewing gaga state of “having it all” to grey cloudy state of “having nothing”,there are no in betweens,no some or few ,no grey stuff,just one antecedent to decide your fate from “having it all or nothing”.To me it can be all worth it if you have someone to share it with ,the bad experiences and guilt associated with them just spoofs off like cigarette smoke.but then there is an another question doesn’t ”having it all “ also mean you have some of the bad stuff as well?

Saying “No”

2010-06-15T02:25:00.001+05:00

On a pleasant afternoon in May,a group of youngsters sat together in the grassy lawns of my university to reflect upon the experiences they had in past 4 years and aimed to say it all to their class fellows whatever they had in their hearts .It was both fun and saddening because I knew i wouldn't be meeting some of them ever again.

As an effort to make this constructive ,we played a game where everybody was supposed to stand up one by one and everyone in circle like fashion was supposed to give that person advice which may serve him/her in their personality development so to say.The advice that I got was bitter-sweet but the most common element was revolving around my inability to say ‘No’ to people.

Sounds very juvenile but after expensing some serious thought on it I had to come to terms with it.Throughout my educational career & some aspects of personal relationships,it even led to sad demise of some them.Problem starts with the fact that I didn't want to unintentionally hurt anybody or let them down , especially whom I knew I had the chance of delighting.But some where along this rocky expedition I forgot the universal truth that I cant please everybody.Somebody would eventually be adversely affected by my decisions.Its the basic opportunity cost concept for God’s sake.

As I dig deeper and deeper into my psyche I realise that its not about being indecisive, it is the fact that I wanted to see/present myself as generous, understanding, and polite. So every time a person asked me for a favour or told me to chose between the alternatives I simply said ‘yes’,because to me ‘no’ is considered to be cursed, egoistic, not at all spiritual. and simply its just negative.

But in the aftermath of my time spent with these amazingly diverse group of people I realize that i have to be careful here. Because there were moments when I was saying “yes” to others and in fact was saying “no” to myself in lot of unexplainable ways.

Moreover I have come to terms with the fact that all the great men and women in the world have been people who, rather than say “yes”, said a very big NO to everything that did not fit their ideal of solidarity and growth.Its just not about what feels right but rather it is about what is right.If one wants to say "no",then they must say it. "Maybe" is for people who are afraid to commit.

P.S. contains excerpts from Paolo Coelho’s quotes

Some thoughts by Andy Warhol

2010-06-08T00:32:00.001+05:00

Don’t pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches. During the 1960s, I think, people forgot what emotions were supposed to be. And I don’t think they’ve ever remembered.

Isn’t life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves? I’m afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning. People need to be made more aware of the need to work at learning how to live because life is so quick and sometimes it goes away too quickly.

Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details.I always wished I had died, and I still wish that, because I could have gotten the whole thing over with.I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they’ll just have to learn how to be babies longer.

I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of “work,” because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don’t always want to do. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep.

Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet. I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumours to my dogs. Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets.

In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.

BY ANDY WARHOL

Andrew Warhola (August 6, 1928 – February 22, 1987), known as Andy Warhol, was an American painter, printmaker, and filmmaker who was a leading figure in the visual art movement known as pop art.

borrowed from Paolo Coelho’s Blog

Beautiful models & Beastly mortals

2010-06-06T12:48:00.001+05:00

There are basically two kinds of people in the world based on their appearances.1.Models 2. Mortals. Yes it is in fact a truth that models are actually a separate human species.There has a been much a debate about the this fact that are these models realistic/relatable to normal people aka the mortals or they are just purely aspirational?

Being the fashion enthusiast in my group of friends,I often get asked this question that why are we projecting such unrealistic standards of beauty so much so that young ones are starving themselves and hating their own bodies.Well thing is models are supposed to be carriers of clothes,a sort of communication vehicle to show the personality of the brand in question.When people buy the brand they don't just want the clothes they want to be like that model actually.So every brand has different identity/specification for beauty ,choice is totally that of consumer whom s/he wants to see himself as.

In smaller cities beautiful models can only be seen of TV,magazines and billboards but come to bigger metropolitan cities districts and you can see such creatures run wild on the streets,turning the city in a virtual model country safari where we can pet these creatures in their natural habitat and feel bad about ourselves, as if we didn’t have enough problems already.Dove ‘real beauty’ campaign did break the clutter but I personally don't think that it had such a far reaching impact.People in general still prefer brands with heavenly looking beautiful models over the ones which show real people

But my question really is when did people in general decide to let go of themselves and just follow trends to become some giraffe with big @#%$,without paying any heed other things like their natural body shape etc.and also if these beautiful models can cause otherwise rational mortals to crumble in their presence ,so exactly how powerful is this beauty?

I wonder if there is some kind of physics for beauty ,why do models repel models? it seems they only are with some beastly mortals (for reason such as these I don't believe Angelina Jolie and Brad PItt can cut it out over the long run)Or is it that they are always around beastly mortals because they need a validation of the fact that they are something special.Moreover its sometimes very hard for me stomach that their being so beautiful can often render them lonely(wtf man! If beauty doesn’t do them any good then why the hell)Because in the end one must realise that beauty fades,a thing of beauty maybe a joy forever but a beautiful person is not.What's Important is that we have to feel comfortable in our own skin.

A reformed Shopaholic

2010-06-01T00:06:00.001+05:00

Well I think its time for me to come clean and make a confession.I have been living a life that a lot of people don't know about,maybe I was afraid of being judged but as I have reformed , i want to let it all out .Maybe someone somewhere would read it and relate to it.So here it is ,I am Piscean and I am recovering shopaholic hhhhhhhhh!(sigh of relief)

For those of you who don't know what the word ‘Shopaholic’ means, it is a compulsive shopper,one who shops frequently and is obsessed about it /addicted.Not along ago,I was this flashy ,expressive and overspending individual.i could shop at the drop of a hat.There is something about new merchandise neatly stacked in a store,that peculiar smell of new variety,the price tags,and the best part the labels..OMG the mannequins talk to me !

People ask me where do I get the money to buy all this stuff?well its very good question.Unlike most shopaholics, I don't work on credit cuz I don't have any means to have a credit card so to say.What I did was I saved saved till i practically starved myself to have decent stack of money, and then i just spent it all frivolously .It was more of cyclical thing where I sidelined all other needs and just the experience of shopping was like a sniff of cocaine.Maybe even better :)

But a few years ago I was watching Oprah and I had a AHA moment, a light bulb went up in my head ,I realized If i didn't stop I would eventually become a hoarder.I had to walk away from all this.This temporary high wasn't worth it.My addiction was compromising my financial as well as emotional well being.Then few days later a song on Channel V came up,song was “There is gotta be more to Life”by Staccie Orrico.It went something like:There's gotta be more to life... Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me. Cause the more that I'm... Tripping out thinking there must be more to life. Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more. (Than wanting more)”

Then this movie came out last year based on a book by Sophie Kinsella.The lead character says these words and it was like running into a wall of bricks head on:

“A man will never love you or treat you as well as a store. If a man doesn't fit, you can't exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a store always smells good. A store can awaken a lust for things you never even knew you needed. And when your fingers first grasp those shiny, new bags... oh yes... oh yes.When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it's not, and I need to do it again ”

People don't just understand.They just go out to buy when they run out of things.But I on the contrary agree to Cat Deely who said ,”I don't shop because I need something, I just shop for shopping's sake”.Judith Krantz also expressed my feelings regarding retail therapy very well when she said “On the one hand, shopping is dependable: You can do it alone, if you lose your heart to something that is wrong for you, you can return it; it's instant gratification and yet something you buy may well last for years.”

As far as my addiction is concerned ,I say I have recovered but I still stand strong on my belief that whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.

Love & Life –Oscar Wilde

2010-05-29T22:10:00.001+05:00

While trying to quench my thirst for reading, I stumbled upon some of the works of the revolutionary Oscar Wilde.Reading some of his scrumptious writing has breathed into me a fresh soul and a new perspective of looking at things.Its not everyday business that one comes literal works from Victorian age that are both ‘free of artificiality’ and are modest, sincere and genuine in essence.

in one of his stories titled “The Model Millionaire” he writes about love and riches as :

“Unless one is wealthy there is no use in being a charming fellow.Romance is the privilege of the rich ,not the profession of the unemployed .The poor should be practical and prosaic.It is better to have permanent income than to be fascinating.These are great truths of modern life…..”

And in one of his many masterpiece quotes he goes on to say:

“To get into the best society nowadays, one has either to feed people, amuse people, or shock people”

Who would have thought that a person in that era would be so articulate yet without any subtlety or evasion.Moreover he did his deed spot-on,his critique on society and human behaviour is still relevant and relatable.Just take a look around,the society that we live in, the norms that it gives birth to regarding living a life and making it worth it. I have written about about Life and a plethora of elements of its . But hands down to the genius that Oscar Wilde was , he put it all so perfectly :

“For he who lives more lives than one, more deaths than one must die.To become the spectator of one's own life is to escape the suffering of life.Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing.Life is not governed by will or intention. Life is a question of nerves, and fibers, and slowly built-up cells in which thought hides itself, and passion has its dreams.Things are in their essence what we choose to make them. A thing is, according to the mode in which one looks at it.”

No doubt if one has multiple lives so to say,s/he has to die multiple deaths.Death here has more of a connotative aspect.Moreover he commented about how hard it is to judge and define one’s Life,for it is so intricate and compounded.There are no road maps or dictionaries.It is what it is and yes also what we make of it.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) was one of the most proficient and versatile Irish playwright, novelist, poet, critic ,and aesthete.Known for his wry wit, was the chief advocate of the aesthetic movement based on the principle of art for art's sake. He is famous for his comic masterpieces Lady Windermere's Fan and The Importance of Being Earnest, his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray his long poem The Ballad of Reading Gaol and, of course, his humorous one-line quotations.

Thoughts about Life by Stanley Kubrick

2010-05-24T16:55:00.001+05:00

Stanley Kubrick was interviewed by Playboy Magazine in 1968 ,a question about Life was asked and this is what he said (or at least what was published):

Playboy: if Life is so purposeless,do you feel its worth living?

Kubrick: Yes,for those who manage somehow to cope with our mortality.the very meaninglessness of life forces a man to create his own meaning.Children, of course, begin life with an untarnished sense of wonder, a capacity to experience total joy at something as simple as the greenness of a leaf; but as they grow older, the awareness of death and decay begins to impinge on their consciousness and subtly erode their joie de vivre(a keen enjoyment of living), their idealism- and their assumption of immortality.

As a child matures, he sees death and pain everywhere about him, and begins to lose faith in the ultimate goodness of man. But if he's reasonably strong- and lucky- he can emerge from this twilight of the soul into a rebirth of life's élan(enthusiastic and assured vigour and liveliness).

Both because of and in spite of his awareness of the meaninglessness of life, he can forge a fresh sense of purpose and affirmation. He may not recapture the same pure sense of wonder he was born with, but he can shape something far more enduring and sustaining.

The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death- however mutable man may be able to make them- our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfilment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.

by Stanley Kubrick

Stanley Kubrick (July 26, 1928 - March 7, 1999) was an American film director and producer. Kubrick's films, most of which were adapted from literary sources, are characterized by technical brilliance, inventive storytelling, and wit. His trademarks include long tracking shots and extensive zooms, and use of pop songs and classical Music.

Goodbye to my BBA class!

2010-05-16T22:18:00.001+05:00

I am sitting here staring at my computer screen and just marvelling at the fact that finally my bachelors' degree at University is coming to an end.Throughout, the 4 years the life had been a rollercoaster ride to say the least ,there were no dull moments/days off literally not practically .I met with such a wide array of personalities and wanna-bes (more than numbers of animals in a forest) and then there was learning part as well blah blah.

I whined ,I cried, I laughed and at the same time prayed for it to end as soon as possible .But as its becoming evident to me that the my routine ,the things I do daily ,people I come across wont be there after several days.My moods turns melancholy ,as I don't know anymore what would I do,with whom i would talk,taunt and share priceless moments.Those times at the cafe,working last minute for the term projects,those ego antics of drama queens,,free classes,exam prep in hostel ,teacher tantrums over marks hhhhhhh.I hate to say it but it was worthwhile and I’ll dreadfully miss all the people.

Few years back when I saw my seniors graduating and bidding farewell, I felt jealous as when would I be free, but I never expected that suddenly my mood would turn more sombre whenever I’ll come to think about never getting to see these people again . Bittersweet as it is but the moment has come where I am asking myself: Where did the time go? How did the guys and girls I once sat in class with grow up so very quickly? How did the life I dreamt of turn into a career I never expected? And how did that boy I saw each day in the mirror become someone I don't even recognize?

It goes by so quickly. In a flash, the LIFE we knew is gone forever and we're left to ask ourselves: How could my friends have left me and moved somewhere else? Did I make the right choices regarding my career? Why have my friends changed? Was I the best student I could have been? Of course, there are some people who understand how quickly time passes and that's why they're so determined to get what they want before it's too late. But I on the other hand was totally opposite, I just laid back and enjoyed those small fun moments and let the time melt away as butter on hot toast.

Now as i am graduating I am asking the same question that Nelly Furtado sang “flames to dust,lovers to friends,why do all good things come to an end? ”.Point is nothing lasts forever (diamonds do but that's totally different story..coming back to what I was saying) and the time comes when we all must say goodbye to the world we knew. Goodbye to everything we had taken for granted. Goodbye to those we thought would never abandon us. And when these changes finally do occur, when the familiar has departed and the unfamiliar has taken its place, all any of us can really do is to say hello and welcome.

P.S. contains excerpts from DH script

previous post on leaving my class click on the text to read that! :)

A lie who always speaks the truth

2010-05-12T12:56:00.001+05:00

A true poet does not bother to be poetical. Nor does a nursery gardener scent his roses. An artist cannot speak about his art any more than a plant can discuss horticulture.

The extreme limit of wisdom, that’s what the public calls madness. The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, they finish by loading honours on your head.

The poet never asks for admiration; he wants to be believed.

Art produces ugly things which frequently become more beautiful with time. Fashion, on the other hand, produces beautiful things which always become ugly with time. Take a commonplace, clean it and polish it, light it so that it produces the same effect of youth and freshness and originality and spontaneity as it did originally, and you have done a poet’s job. The rest is literature.

When a work appears to be ahead of its time, it is only the time that is behind the work.

The actual tragedies of life bear no relation to one’s preconceived ideas. In the event, one is always bewildered by their simplicity, their grandeur of design, and by that element of the bizarre which seems inherent in them. Man seeks to escape himself in myth, and does so by any means at his disposal. Drugs, alcohol, or lies. Unable to withdraw into himself, he disguises himself. Lies and inaccuracy give him a few moments of comfort.

I am a lie who always speaks the truth.

by Jean Cocteau

Jean Cocteau (5 July 1889 – 11 October 1963) was a French poet, novelist, dramatist, designer, boxing manager, playwright, artist and filmmaker.

Borrowed from Paolo Coelho’s blog

First time to Lahore

2010-05-04T13:55:00.001+05:00

For the past two weeks I have been travelling a lot from hometown to places where I had never been before such as Lahore and with people I never imagined to be with ,which I chose not to disclose.being with all these new people and places has certainly widened my horizons and led me to firmly believe that one shouldn't not believe what others tell them,we should take risk ,experience first hand and then go on to form attitudes/opinions.

I had never in my whole life ever imagined that I would be as blessed as i am today,I look back and sigh in gratitude to God and all the people who have made it so.Enjoying A-class facilities and having access to so many opportunities that others can only dream of.First things first the journey which was through railway train was for me a bit too long I slept through most of it (a staggering 13 hours )and whenever I woke up I marvelled at the weird names of the railway stations,my immediate reaction was what the hell were they thinking when they named it so.

Travelling through Lahore I was surprised by the comparatively better transport system than Karachi(no I am dead honest,no biased shit),roads were better,cleaner ,better traffic etc etc.The main objective which as visiting the ivy-league university LUMS was whole different story I’ll write about it later.I paid homage at Data Darbar , although i am not devotedly religious ,being there moved me and suddenly made me very emotional and insignificant relatively.

Then there was stroll down the Anarkali bazaar & food street which i must say is terribly overrated and over publicized (I mean common people! really?).A little distance away is Badshahi Mosque & Qilla. which i must say is a symbol of grandeur and traditional eastern opulence.The frescos on the walls were just magnificent, the architecture ,the pillars and the whole scale of it was just awe-inspiring.Although i couldn't see the entire complex because of the odd timings of my visit,but it is surely one heck of a place.

Minar-e-Pakistan is just a walk across the road and although the monument itself to me is quite quirky in its design but something about it is just reminiscent of Pakistan History subject in school in a funny way.and then I also went for shopping to fortress market which also was not very different from markets in Karachi.I don't know why people say “Lahore Lahore ae” the difference wasn't that evident to me.I assume its mere rhetoric in the glorification of ones city and culture.

And when I was leaving I also managed to see Lahore station which was very majestic in its own way especially the ceiling and detailing on the doors etc ,the architectural style wasn't purely British colonial to me,it had some specks of eastern influence,but its just me I am not some architecture “big-wig”. I am just saying!

Overall it was a nice and nice trip,it wouldn't have been as smooth and joyful if my friends weren't there.so a big round of applause for them.and before conclusion i must say Punjabis aren't as loud as people accuse them of being they are just expressive and direct.

Favours and Prayers

2010-05-02T12:54:00.001+05:00

Bad times fall upon everybody,for some they are destructive and life-threatening whereas for others a humbling experience and an opportunity to reinvent.Its in these times that we truly get to know what we stand for and who we are at the core.

I am no different ,whenever my blue skies have faded to grey I have found myself down on knees before the Almighty,if not for mortals’ kind favours.Yes now and then, we all need a little help, so we ask for small favours.In a world filled with darkness, we all need some kind of light. Whether it's a great flame that shows us how to win back what we've lost, or a powerful beacon intended to scare away potential monsters, or a few glowing bulbs that reveal to us the hidden truth of our past. We all need something to help us get through the night. Even if it's just the tiniest glimmer of hope

The Heavens above have been the only source of comfort and solace of last resort.No matter how big or small my problems have been I have turned there and trust me that Power above listens and sometime answers too.There have been countless incidents where this belief of mine has been tested e.g. I remember sitting in the class room praying the teacher doesn't call my name for viva voice for I wasn’t prepared and yes they always saved me.

But it's always best to be wary of those eager to come to our rescue. Because even the smallest of favours carries a price tag. Yes, everyone has an agenda. No matter what they may tell us. And in those rare instances where there is no ulterior motive we're so taken aback that we may fail to recognize the truth that a loving friend has just done us an enormous favour.

Well the truth is Prayer intended to give us strength when we are faced with circumstances we don’t want to accept. The power of the prayer comes from it's insight into human nature. Because so many of us rage against the hand that Life has dealt us. Because so many of us are cowardly. And afraid to stand up for what is right. Because so many of us give into despair when faced with an impossible choice. The good news for those who utter these words is that God will hear you and answer your prayer. The bad news is that sometimes the answer is no.

P.S. contains excerpts from D.S.script

Photos and the Photographer

2010-04-14T00:38:00.005+05:00

We have all read/heard that a picture is equal to a thousand words.I couldn't agree more.I personally have always been fascinated by various facets of visual art,photography being one of them.The fact that a moment has been immortalized and frozen in time is just one of its marvels,the way a photographer looks at his subject i.e. his perspective is far more abstract and open for people to have different interpretations , as opposed to writing which is( to me) comparatively more hard-line .

I am looking at my camera and marvelling over the fact that, what would its inventor must have thought of ? Did s/he anticipate that how people would be using it years later? and what would they be thinking ?I for one have always been intrigued about what that photographer must be thinking about when taking a particular photo.Something must have been going on in his head.Because cameras are just simple tools designed to capture images.But photos turn out to be far more than random images. As photos that I have taken tell me more about myself than I could have ever realized.They remind me of the long journey that I’ve taken,the loved ones who travelled alongside me, those I lost along the way and aslo those waiting for me on the road ahead.

I being the artsy type in my family and friends often serve as the photographer on almost every event.Going through the photographs of me and my loved ones of the years gone by ,I am overcome by nostalgia.it feels like I am living those moments all over again,the sights,sounds and smells of it all.All the places I have been to , people I have been with and the photos that I have captured by my camera.SIGH* Life passes away so swiftly,it seems like it was just yesterday

Yes, cameras are just tools designed to simply capture images. But in truth, they can capture so much more. They can uncover hidden longing of people who should no longer care,they can reveal the extraordinary secrets of the most ordinary lives and most amazing of all, cameras can quietly and clearly reveal to us our dreams. Dreams we didn't even know we had

P.S. contains excerpts from D.S. script

Proverbs of Hell

2010-04-08T13:00:00.001+05:00

Proverbs of Hell

1. In seed time learn, in harvest teach, in winter enjoy.
2. Drive your cart and your plow over the bones of the dead.
3. The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
4. Prudence is a rich, ugly old maid courted by Incapacity.
5. He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence.
6. The cut worm forgives the plow.
7. Dip him in the river who loves water.
8. A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.
9. He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star.
10. Eternity is in love with the productions of time.
11. The busy bee has no time for sorrow.
12. The hours of folly are measured by the clock; but of wisdom, no clock can measure.
13. All wholesome food is caught without a net or a trap.
14. Bring out number, weight and measure in a year of dearth.
15. No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.
16. A dead body revenges not injuries.
17. The most sublime act is to set another before you.
18. If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise.
19. Folly is the cloak of knavery.
20. Shame is Pride’s cloak.
21. Prisons are built with stones of law, brothels with bricks of religion.
22. The pride of the peacock is the glory of God.
23. The lust of the goat is the bounty of God.
24. The wrath of the lion is the wisdom of God.
25. The nakedness of woman is the work of God.
26. Excess of sorrow laughs. Excess of joy weeps.
27. The roaring of lions, the howling of wolves, the raging of the stormy sea, and the destructive sword, are portions of eternity, too great for the eye of man.
28. The fox condemns the trap, not himself.
29. Joys impregnate. Sorrows bring forth.
30. Let man wear the fell of the lion, woman the fleece of the sheep.
31. The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship.
32. The selfish, smiling fool, and the sullen, frowning fool shall be both thought wise, that they may be a rod.
33. What is now proved was once only imagined.
34. The rat, the mouse, the fox, the rabbit watch the roots; the lion, the tiger, the horse, the elephant watch the fruits.
35. The cistern contains: the fountain overflows.
36. One thought fills immensity.
37. Always be ready to speak your mind, and a base man will avoid you.
38. Every thing possible to be believed is an image of truth.
39. The eagle never lost so much time as when he submitted to learn of the crow.
40. The fox provides for himself, but God provides for the lion.
41. Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.
42. He who has suffered you to impose on him, knows you.
43. As the plow follows words, so God rewards prayers.
44. The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.
45. Expect poison from the standing water.
46. You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.
47. Listen to the fool’s reproach! it is a kingly title!
48. The eyes of fire, the nostrils of air, the mouth of water, the beard of earth.
49. The weak in courage is strong in cunning.
50. The apple tree never asks the beech how he shall grow; nor the lion, the horse, how he shall take his prey.
51. The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.
52. If others had not been foolish, we should be so.
53. The soul of sweet delight can never be defil’d.
54. When thou seest an eagle, thou seest a portion of genius; lift up thy head!
55. As the caterpillar chooses the fairest leaves to lay her eggs on, so the priest lays his curse on the fairest joys.
56. To create a little flower is the labour of ages.
57. Damn braces. Bless relaxes.
58. The best wine is the oldest, the best water the newest.
59. Prayers plow not! Praises reap not!
60. Joys laugh not! Sorrows weep not!
61. The head Sublime, the heart Pathos, the genitals Beauty, the hands and feet Proportion.
62. As the air to a bird or the sea to a fish, so is contempt to the contemptible.
63. The crow wished every thing was black, the owl that every thing was white.
64. Exuberance is Beauty.
65. If the lion was advised by the fox, he would be cunning.
66. Improvement makes strait roads; but the crooked roads without improvement are roads of genius.
67. Sooner murder an infant in its cradle than nurse unacted desires.
68. Where man is not, nature is barren.
69. Truth can never be told so as to be understood, and not be believed.
70. Enough! or too much.

William Blake (28 November 1757–12 August 1827) was an English poet, painter, and printmaker. Largely unrecognized during his lifetime, Blake is now considered a seminal figure in the history of both the poetry and visual arts of the Romantic Age. His prophetic poetry has been said to form “what is in proportion to its merits the least read body of poetry in the English language.

p.s. borrowed from Paulo Coelho’s Blog

Fear of failure

2010-03-28T22:51:00.001+05:00

This fear of failing has plagued me for as long as I can remember,I don't know how and when it developed .But one thing is for sure I am now wide awake and fully suffering its repercussions.

Searching for the root cause I did a few searches on the Internet regarding why it happens,how it works and stuff.Some of the stuff I found was very interesting and eye opening,while some other was just down right ugly.For starters I found out that in technical lingo its called “Atychiphobia”

For me it has history in the fact that I never failed at my school or college etc,I almost always got good grades and simply chose not to do things I wasn't good at.So as I have grown up Its almost like a fear of unknown,I don't know how it must feel like or what would happen If I fail?.All I know is I don't want to fail,it isn't the one for me.It is a more of control issue than anything else.

Yes,control. It's extraordinary the tactics people employ to obtain it. Some rely on deception. While others engage in outright trickery. Then there are those who resort to extortion. Why do we fight so hard for control? Because we know to lose it is to put our fate in the hands of others. And what could be more dangerous?.So people such as me do things which we are sure of.

But this fear of failure has had some far reaching consequences for me as well. It has been one of the most paralyzing experiences. Sometimes, I am so concerned about failing that I don't try an activity I want to try. Other times my fear of failure is so strong I subconsciously undermine my own efforts so I don't have to continue to try. This is why many have linked it with the fear of success. Like so many other fears, this fear is often so strong that it has brought about the very failure that was feared.

I was listening to music few days back and suddenly an old favourite came up in the playlist called “Life for rent” by Dido.It has few really awe-inspiring lines that go something like “while my life is a shield,And I won’t let it down,while I am so afraid to fail,that I wont even try.So how can I say I am alive”.These lines resonated with me so intensely that I don't have words to express.

What everybody should always remember is that, It doesn't help that our culture seems to imply that perfection can be achieved in looks, relationships, careers, etc. Perfection is an illusion, but the person with fear of failure (such as me) won't try until perfection is assured.I finish off this post with a quote i.e.

“It is the want of diligence, rather than the want of means, that causes most failures.”-Alfred Mercier

Gossip,Scandals & Dirty Laundry

2010-03-17T15:57:00.001+05:00

The title itself is so saucy and attention seeking that all of us get the idea what is to follow these words.With the exception of a few, all of us get kick out of it.Men, women, old, young, whoever you are, whatever you do,you are in on it.

Personally, I extremely detest people who gossip about others ruining their whole lives without even realizing that their plaything could have such far reaching repercussions for the sufferer.I came across a story of a person JV whose aunt (who was a well known gossiper) kind of tried to malign him and went on doing so in a chain.Even then the JV was kind enough and just told her that he knows she did it, and that she should never bother him again.Telling this story has a very important motive because all us should know this, that out of revenge the sufferers can be as sordid and mean as their attackers, but they can also handle it in a more dignified way and be the the bigger person.

There is Persian proverb that tells us that “People even talk ill about the King” which means that you cant bar people from talking about you ,you cant silence them, no matter how high & mighty and resourceful you are.The only thing one can do is not to take trouble and try living around it, or you shouldn't even give these gossipers a chance to talk about you.

Throughout even the most respectable of neighborhoods, you can hear the sound of scandal. Some scandals announce themselves with a shout. Some with a whisper. And some with bang. And once in a great while, there comes a scandal so deliciously sordid, its roar drowns out all other noise.

But there would always be some people on the other side of the pond,who would say its very inconsiderate and smutty to sift through other people’s dirty laundry & only people who have nothing going on in their own lives, are interested in other’s ridicule etc etc.Maybe they are right but I also think that they are saying so because they feel insecure because either they themselves are the sufferers or might be next talk of town.

Yes, everyone loves a scandal no matter how big or small. After all what could be more entertaining than watching the downfall of the high and mighty? What could be more amusing than the public exposure of hypocritical sinners? Undoubtedly,everyone loves a scandal. And if for some reason, you're not enjoying the latest one well, the next one is always around the corner

P.S. contains excerpts from DH script

Change & Challenges

2010-03-11T22:41:00.001+05:00

A few days back a speaker MR came to our University and I have chosen to write about him because unlike other speakers that usually visit us and give their presentations he was very laid back ,frank and relatable.I don't remember exactly what was the exact title of topic he was assigned but the theme revolved around ‘self development’ .So I am gonna try putting forth things that I wish other people would ponder upon as well.

Besides this a very well-known book called ‘who moved my cheese?’ came up in discussion in the class,although almost everybody has read it but somehow this prelude of MR’s presentation and connection to this book’s sudden re-emergence seems very surreal to me.

We all are looking for our cheese with the exception of few who are still out there figuring out what is.I particularly belonging to later type.I have always been intrigued by people who are so sure about themselves and what they want in their lives.I just don't know how they come about it.For me my dreams ,my cheese has continuously evolved without my discretion,forcing the always ever so self-doubtful ME, to wonder who am I ? & where am I heading?

MR pointed out something very astounding and quirky about this ever so changing circumstances in our lives which suddenly and often automatically lead to paradigm shifts.He put it so in words as “We humans are on a downwards moving escalators ,and if we stand still we are going down,even If we try to walk up we’ll only manage to stay at the same position,but If we really want to excel we have to climb up the stairs at rate of progress greater than that of the escalator itself”.I know its easier said than done,but we can always try.

Furthermore MR iterated the very widely realized sentiment that whatever decisions we make,we should stand by them, work towards achieving our goals passionately.But make decisions not compromises .Because even if you fail because of your decisions its not a big deal they are not tied to your ego,only compromises lead to regret.

I conclude this post with a quote of Paolo Coelho which goes something like “When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny”

Masks & Make-Believe

2010-03-06T23:10:00.001+05:00

I have wrote about lying and pretense in a lot of my previous blog posts and this time is no different .I read a book called "’The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne sometime back and it has left a very deep imprint on my soul.The main context of this book revolved around the fact that “your thoughts eventually manifest themselves into your reality”.Seems very simple and natural but if you just ponder upon your past ,all the events and everything you would realize that you attracted such things to yourself.Whether you like it or not, Its the truth!

Moving towards the “Masks” title,I named this post so because we act out such wide array of roles in our lives that someway along the path,those individual roles come to define who we are.We lose our own identity and start confusing the “WHO” with the “DO”.

I was a having a conversation with this person named MZ few days back, and suddenly out of a very casual pointless discussion ,he said something very profound.His words were so deep and far reaching that I was stunned and practically gasping for more.It felt like someone had stripped me bare right in the middle of a busy marketplace.

All my life I tried being somebody that I wasn’t, we all do but some of us are just too frozen,our hearts are just not open enough to come to terms with this fact.Now I realize while all this was going on, gradually I was losing myself-the real me.As if you grab a fistful of popcorn and you just start dropping off bits and pieces.The result was that I wasn’t good at anything anymore,not at what I was trying to be and certainly not at who I really was.

Everyone enjoys a game of make-believe now and then. Of course, the ways in which we play can vary greatly. Sometimes we tell ourselves work won't interfere with our family life. Sometimes, we imagine certain relationships to be more meaningful than they really are. Occasionally, we put on a show, as if to convince ourselves our secrets aren't really all that terrible.

Yes, the game of make-believe is a simple one. You start by lying to yourself, and if you can get others to believe those lies, you win! But what I now know for sure is that “if you carry a facade long enough, the mask will weld itself to your face”- MZ

P.S. contains excerpts from a DS script

Things people do in the name of ‘Competition’

2010-03-02T21:30:00.001+05:00

I apologize that I haven't been able to write here for sometime owing to my laziness and lack of motivation/inspiration.As it is the last semester with my class fellows and my degree would be completed in a month or two, I had decided sometime back that I would make peace with everybody,putting an end to all the grudges and misunderstandings

But now half way through it the always “self-doubtful” ME am questioning my decision to be more open ,warm and honest with others.I find that as a result of being so I may have let down the guard and become more vulnerable but that's not it.Others may question why the hell did I do this ,but all the goody good books that I had been reading somehow pushed me down the edge of this cliff & instead of flying ,I fell down in cartoon like fashion as in “road runner cartoon”.

The philosophy behind all of this sudden change in my outlook toward Life was , I quote”People are complicated creatures. On the one hand, able to perform great acts of charity. On the other, capable of the most underhanded forms of betrayal. It's a constant battle that ranges within all of us, between the better angels of our nature, and the temptation of our inner demons. And sometimes the only way to ward off the darkness is to shine the light of compassion”

But for one reason or another I overlooked the fact that Life is a battleground afterall, and the search for power exists in every realm of Life.It is cut throat competition ,this search for power begins when we’re quite young. As children, we’re taught that the power of good triumphs over the power of evil. But as I have grown older, I’ve realized that nothing is ever that simple. And the key lesson to be learned from my bitter experience is that traces of evil always remain.

As I became close to this person, the result of this has come out to be that the person is now set to sabotage me .Yes Sabotage. Everyone is capable of it, but some go about it more ruthlessly than others. Like the ones who crave vengeance or the ones who hunger for love or the ones who are determined to burn bridges. And then there are those who simply want something. Something that belongs to someone else.The person in my case seems of be of the same draconian kind.

Competition, it means different things to different people. But whether it’s a friendly rivalry or a fight to the death,the end result is the same. There will be winners and there will be losers. Of course, the trick is to know which battles to fight. You see, no victory comes without a price!

P.S. contains excerpts from DH

Unlikely Kindness

2010-02-13T21:57:00.001+05:00

I have been wanting to write about this often ignored and downplayed virtue in life i.e.’Kindness’..I decided to call it unlikely because it is in fact very rare only the most observant and grateful of the people are able to feel and acknowledge it. I for one am very privileged to have experienced it through various means at various times.

For starters Kindness is about being gentle,generous and caring.Not just that at it also incorporates the all so important being friendly and helpful to others.Sounds like lesson in Ethics 101 isn’t it?.Well its what we should have been but aren’t ,we can always start trying to be a better human beings cant we? It is not as hard as it sounds.

I recently undertook a journey few hundred kilometers away from my hometown and that experience made me realize the richness of Life.I went there aimlessly just to unwind and give myself a recharge but the people I met there in busses ,hotels and shopping malls removed a sort of veil from my eyes that has been blinding me from seeing and appreciating how Kind people can be.In this cold and unforgiving world where people don’t even trust their own blood,I was warmed up by the unlikely kindness of a family there.They literally opened up their arms and their generosity summed up to be one of the most humbling experiences of my life.Kindness still happens to exist on the face of this earth.

I have another very run of the mill incident which strengthened my belief in the Kindness showered upon me by the higher forces whatever you like to call them.My washroom doesn’t have running hot water , and in winters where temperatures drop to 5 and 6 degree centigrade, it was very hard for me to boil water every time I had to wash my hands for instance.But one day suddenly when I opened the tap,warm water started to flow It was just perfect not too warm not too cold.I was so shocked because there was no way warm water could be flowing through them but it was.

One doesn't have to travel miles and meet strangers to be blessed by Kindness, we just have to open our eyes ,make our souls more observant and accommodating .If you expect that somebody is going to give you a million bucks or do something very extravagant and big for you then you are terribly mistaken.We have to keep our expectations low or at least realistic. Once you do so Life is like a ever flowing spring of Kindness ,we just need to dig deep within ourselves.We should also remember that its a two way street in order to expect and receive Kindness, we has to be Kind ourselves .

“You You,Me Me” Environment

2010-02-07T22:12:00.001+05:00

To start with I have been so dead busy with my academic stuff that I haven’t been able to write here.I decided to name this post of mine ‘You You Me Me ‘ Environment because of prevalent conditions of my society.It infuriates so much to see the blame game being played upon by the Powerful ones,and its the common people who are always violated and victimized.The particular phrase was shared with me by one of teachers,although it was supposed to stir in a little fun but it was so witty and raw that I decided to borrow it for my blog post title.

I am not definitely not trying to preach anybody anything but if you just look around you would realize suddenly there is so much negativity and conflict in our environment,one cant help but wonder what's the underlying cause behind it.I say its the ongoing aura of blaming and accusing one another,the constant tug of war among other things.We have somehow become very rigid and intolerant of diversity ,constantly at odds.I just don't know why.I just don't.It was not like this in past.

This recent blast in Karachi and the aftermath of its ,made me take in the fact that we as a society are almost always making excuses,pointing fingers at each other & are terribly averse to assuming responsibility.Hard & Bitter.I know but that's the awful truth,the Bitter Pill we must all swallow and then work towards it.Over and above we have made fortresses of Egos and that we aren't willing to tear down ,be more empathetic or compassionate,no body gives a damn anymore.

It is truly ‘You You Me Me’ environment,what I know for sure is that when we only have compassion and love for our own race,friends or whatever, then we leave a sort of a vacuum for anger and hate to flourish.And if it is not interrupted eventually it makes us irate and we demonstrate badness.Overtime it manifests itself into heinous acts of segregation and discrimination.This You You Me Me’ culture is at work both ways ,we exhibit its values for both ‘self enhancing’ and ‘self protective’ objectives, depending upon the people,place or point of time in question.

We cant change the way others act and think,but we can surely change the way we perceive and respond to the environment.There’s is quote which says “Make yourself an honest man , then you’ll be sure that there is one less bastard in the world”.So lets make a resolution that we as individuals will try to better human beings, make this world a better place to live in.

‘Miss Call’ Ritual

2010-02-04T22:16:00.001+05:00

I don't exactly remember when it actually started, but today looking back at it all seems that it has been like this all this time.I am referring to this ritual of ‘Miss calling’.Some of you might think that Piscean has ran out of stuff to write about and is now babbling about non issues, but I beg to differ small things such as this miss call thingy tell a lot about our culture and ourselves as individuals.So I deem it significant enough to be written about.

It was a time around mid 2000s that cell phones or mobile phones as we like to call them really picked up in Pakistan.It was a kind of luxury that you could flaunt around and people started using the buzz words such as ‘text me’, ‘msg me’ etc. and it changed our culture forever.However this ‘Miss Call’ culture started to gain momentum when these cellular network began a Price War(which by the way is like a nuclear war in Marketing terms), all of a sudden more and more people could afford this gadget but not all could/would call or text message each other.So the most convenient solution when you want to give somebody your number (or Buzz someone etc for instance) was to deliberately ring such a short while that the intended recipient wouldn't or couldn't receive it.So you don't lose a penny yet your objective is achieved.Thus the ‘Miss call’ Culture was born.

As with other things in our culture there are variations to this as well depending upon the people in question,each one of us does it in a unique way, time and place.It is so prevalent in our society that most of us wont find anything wrong or weird with it, but for moment keeping other things aside If we look at it from outside ,you would certainly realize how miser of society we are (or have become).Some people may object to my opinion saying that in this time plagued by inflation and other crises, people are rather forced to resort to such activities,let alone being generous.Gone are the days when people used to travel miles just to know if someone was doing ok or not and make their presence felt,now one can just give a petty “Miss Call” for the same and that’s pretty much it.

I don't know how this term ‘Miss Call’ was coined and became so viral eventually.Because when one is unable to receive a call ,all the major handsets display you have ‘X Missed Calls’, but one way or another we Pakistanis turned it into our very own ‘Miss Call’(Me thinks its related to the title of feminine side as in Miss Mr, we are very obsessed aren’t we?).

But what amazes me the most is unlike other fads such as texting obsessively etc have gone away pretty quick ,this ‘miss call’ culture still reigns supreme in most of our society.While most of our younger population has moved on to twitter, facebook etc, our culture continues to evolve and is coming up with more novel rituals such as the ones cited in this blog post day in and day out.It is just a matter of realization.

Geographically Challenged and Unable to Drive

2010-01-20T23:14:00.001+05:00

Owing to the bacteria like development in places all around the country,people such as me who are ‘Geographically challenged and unable to drive’ are finding it harder to get around or should I say fighting to survive in these rapidly growing concrete jungles.

The term ‘Geographically challenged’ doesn’t mean that one has to climb mountains or walk through deserts practically rather it refers to people who find it difficult to get around the city,figure out roads/routes to destination and basically are easily lost.what further aggravates this condition is when that person is unable to drive.So, for one you don't know where you have to go and how you have to get there,secondly you cant get there even if you somehow figure it out because you don't know how to drive.

People usually assume that people don't drive because they are scared or just plain.But I on the contrary am of the opinion that its quite normal not to drive,because otherwise what would professional drivers do and who would use public transport services? hmmm think about it.It is a like natural balance of modern day societies that should not be disturbed you know .Elders usually the most critical of non-drivers should also remember the fact that the game is not that simple anymore.They played Pacman ,now its the age of virtual reality strategy games.

Back in old times,roads were few and far between ,very sparse traffic laws were there and very few vehicles were on the road just a few animals or animalistic people roaming around .The landscape was much like an African desert But now just consider driving in any metropolitan city and even the most experienced of drivers would experience a hike in blood pressure,its like herd of wildebeests migrating just one wrong move or lack of thereof and you will be doomed.

Life has not been made any easier for ‘Geographically challenged’ by construction of flyovers,underpasses and what not as if life wasn't difficult enough already.When on the road we are confronted with a plethora of lanes and once you make a wrong move or take a wrong turn then one just has to go with the flow ,you cant just stop and turn back.One has to go till the very end of it and then figure where you are & what you wanna do ,pretty much like from fire into the frying pan.

Moreover mushroom like growth of high rise buildings and housing projects have created sort of a maze,its so difficult to find even a simple address on the main road especially if the person is new to the city.Within every such real estate project there are phases, then it cascades down into blocks,numbers this that.Even ‘multivariate analysis’ and ‘finance mumbo jumbo’ seems easy to me then figuring out these addresses.

I don’t know what will happen to people like me who come across such things everyday.I have heard from people of faraway places that there is gadget called GPS navigator which aids people suffering from same demise elsewhere,so there is hope for us maybe our leaders may beg that for us too.

I am hopeful that I would see better days as former Beatles star John Lenon in his song says ‘They say I am a dreamer but I ‘m not the only one……’

Pissed-off for no reason

2010-01-19T21:31:00.001+05:00

People who know me personally recently told me that my blog posts have become lack luster and somber in their mood, and besides that they also believed that I am not truly myself when I am writing here.Well I beg to differ on later part of their opinion but as an effort I have decided to write all the bitter confessions and let out all the garbage ,so I mayn’t hold an grudges against anybody around me if I die.Risqué but not gossiping I am just trying to spill the beans.

To start off I decided to pick on the person who is really bothering me these days and I wish I could just smash him with the giant hammer like the one in ‘Tom & Jerry’ cartoons,hmmm it would have been sweet to say the least.Well it started off about 3 years ago when I came to this place to study,I still don't remember how it all started ,but as long as I can remember this admin. big wig has always been at odds with me.Whenever I have had to go to his office,to ask for something or some genuine work/problem, I was faced with venomous words and harshest replies.It felt like I had some age old family feud with him and he is taking it out on me.

For reasons such as these and others I couldn't really understand the rationale behind ‘Stress Interviews’ either (although i have studied HRM).What’s the purpose of harassing people who are already nervous and needy(jobs) by saying demeaning things.I am of the opinion that these people just do that to make them feel good about themselves (because they are plainly Insecure)

Although after talking to some of my fellows I thought that maybe this person was having a bad day at work or simply very frustrated.But recently I came to terms with the fact that he’s not as bad with others as he is with me.This is the primary reason for which i have named this blog post ‘Pissed-off for no reason’.

But the problem doesn't end here, out of his office he has great PR. So even if I complain or protest against him nobody would believe me rather they turn their backs to me and back fire.But after 3 years of being here now I have found out how to handle this dilemma,what I did is that I changed my mindset,I no longer feel offended or scared of this guy.Second,I found a way through the organizational structure & buttered up the guy at higher position in hierarchy.

After all this ‘mama drama’ I have come to terms with the fact that people who do/say bad things to you, may not always feel bad about it.Most of time we just have to let it go and assume that these Pissed off Guys are just born that way or maybe they are sick / in need treatment on emergency basis.We can’t control how people treat us but we can surely control what we do about it.

One of my favourite books of all time ‘Letters to a Young Artist’ by Anna Deavere Smith puts it into perspective by some simple yet powerful words

‘The Man has power but so do You’.

Smile Please!

2010-01-14T16:24:00.001+05:00

I have said it before and I would say it again! Smiles aren't just an expression of joy,just look at Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa.Is she really smiling, if yes then is she really happy or joyous to say the least ? In this complex world of emotions and expressions there is no such thing as a genuine smile,they are almost always illusory.

Yes, it was not always like this.When we were kids,we used to smile,laugh,cry, etc. express any of our emotions and feelings uninhibitedly.No pretense No pressure.They were the good old times.And there are some exceptions as well there always bound to be some, there are still people in this world who just bluntly and wholly express whatever they feel like without giving ‘em a second thought regardless of their age.

I must say it on the record that there is nothing as annoying as people who have smile plastered across their face all the time each and everywhere.Whether you differentiate a grin and smile but the former ones are equally if not more annoying.Think Zardari you’ll get an idea.One just wants to punch them as hard as they can and knock them down.But this is not WWE Smackdown, its real life it just doesn't work this way one has to stomach things even though you don't like them!

This pretense thingy bring us to another issue which is a no-brainer to me,faking smiles.Yes no matter how good your life is going,how content/delighted you are with your present state,you will one day or another fake a smile.We do so sometimes to make others feel at peace you just text a smiley face :) to your friends, to hide what's really going inside of us when we are deeply sad or etc.Haven’t you noticed how Celebrities fake smiles when one of their competitors win the award.Think Aishwariya Rai

And there are other times when you are thinking of some mischief and mysteriously a smile appears on your face,Its so because one is visualizing the evil designs in their heads.If you have ever watched Star Plus serial then you would be pretty much familiar with it all,all the negative characters do so when they are plotting something evil against the lead character.

I have used these examples not because I think they are the apt illustrations for smile, but rather I quoted these because we are all too familiar with them .And mostly share similar attitude for them.I MUST repeat I am not saying that all the smiles in the world are fake however the point I want to make is that as all that glitters is not gold,in the same fashion all smiles are not what they seem to be.

Yes we all smile and come across smiles but we should all remember that there is nothing more deceptive than a smile. And no one knows this better than the people who hide behind them. Some flash their teeth, as of a light warning to their enemies. Some put on faces to keep their tears from falling. Others wear silly grins, to mask their fear. But then there is that rare smile, that is actually genuine. It's a smile of a person that knows their troubles will soon be over.

3 Virgos (not 3 Idiots) in my Life

2010-01-12T15:09:00.001+05:00

Owing to all the hype created around the famous movie ‘3 Idiots’ and its impact on society in general,I was greatly inspired to write about 3 of the most influential Virgos in my life.I have been thinking for quite sometime that I should write something about them but for one thing or another I couldn’t.Although I know it would stir up the delicate balance of my life once they(Virgos) read it,but I for one.can’t resist the temptation of letting it all hang out.

To start with I would start with ‘Irreplaceable Patriarch Virgo’ ,this particular person has been around me for as long as I can remember,since the very beginning.Patriarch Virgo is the one responsible for who I am and probably what I am gonna be, Like all other Virgos ,this person has been cold,unforgiving,unintentionally hurting and dominating but deep down inside lies a very vulnerable soft compassionate soul.I deeply wish I war up to this person and wish I could be and do everything this Patriarch Virgo wants me to.This ‘Patriarch Virgo’ particularly enabled me to learn selflessness,self sacrifice and generousity,but I have also been jaded by daemons of secrecy and insincerity.

2nd Virgo in my life has been ‘Inexpressive Brotherly Virgo’,the one who had been with me to support me and motivate me,always there to lend a helping hand and point me in the right direction.The only one Virgo I thought I have understood,but I was utterly mistaken. These things apart I wish I could unwrap the cabbage like mind of this ‘Inexpressive Brotherly Virgo ’,& be of some comfort and help.The virtues that I learnt from this particular Virgo are of being a helping hand,doing the right thing,never give up attitude and lastly being accepting.However I have been grossly let down by introvert nature when other people come to me & inform me of bad state of this ‘Inexpressive Brotherly Virgo’ but maybe its lack of trust building measures on my side.

Last but certainly not the least of Virgos in my life is ‘Considerate Standoffish Virgo’,the one with whom I tested a lot of my boundaries,a very emotionally demanding learning experience of my life to say the least.It is with this particularly Virgo that I realized that my life is doomed to be plagued by Virgos for good and bad in various ways.I also expanded my horizons,and had a great time though it was quite brief.I learned how to be great friend,to stand up for what you believe in and most importantly this Virgo made me realize that life aint that simple.But I wish that this ‘Considerate Standoffish Virgo’ could be a little more open and accommodating.that's it!

Conclusively I would say that whether I like it or not, Virgo have and will continue to have a major impact on my life.All of them have been a great source of pleasure and pain in this journey though I have a lot of regrets associated to them.I wrote about all three of them not because i have strong beliefs in Astrology but rather because they have greatly influenced my life in their own unique ways and hopefully continue to do so in future.Thank you all 3 of you AND more.

Trust

2010-01-11T16:33:00.003+05:00

Defined as ‘the belief or reliance upon the integrity of something/person’.well trust is afterall a belief or reliance ,but in reality it is way more elaborate than that.It is amazing how dictionary manages to puts such words of mammoth proportions into just a few words and do away with them.

To begin with, we must come two terms with the fact that it’s a two-way street.Each & Everyday we trust some and betray others both intentionally and unconsciously,we trust our parents and friends to hold us when we are about to falter,we trust our partners to not to harm our interests,our teachers to educate us and be a role model,our peons and guards to protect us,serve us.Trust is in action when you are travelling hoping the bus will drop you at your destination,it is in action when you are buying something and giving money to the vendor because it is afterall state’s promise that the petty paper holds a certain value.

Although it is all around us,it is very rare to find when it is most needed.It is like salt which seems very unimportant but it is in its absence that we realize that food is tasteless.We don't realize the importance of such small yet integral things in life when they are lying around us, but all of sudden when they are no more.we come to terms with the harsh reality.

All my life I battled with thought of building trust and not letting people down.Trust me its a constant job where sometimes you have to put others’ interests before your own but in the long run I would say It has paid off.I toiled away trying to build trust in/of fellow Virgo but at the end of it,that Virgo chose to trust someone else and keep me in the darkness of ignorance. At the end of it I would also say that there have been times that I just regret because when you trust someone/ with something,you become vulnerable.But little can be done without it, so whether you like it or not you have to trust.Rather you always have to have trust.It is inevitable!

On the contrary it doesn’t mean that you should just open yourself up , so people could prey upon you.There are always somethings that one should keep inside and trust themselves with it.Secrets that's what I am talking about , so prevention is always better than cure,so are precautions.Don't trust people that easily.

Because Trust is a fragile thing; once earned it affords us tremendous freedom,but once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course, the truth is we never know who we can trust those we're closest to can betray us and total strangers can come to our rescue. So in the end, most people decide to only trust themselves.It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned.

Dating- a game of ‘Snakes & Ladders’

2010-01-07T22:38:00.004+05:00

It wasn't always like this but somehow or the other, it had turn out to be a game of ‘Snakes & Ladders’.Yes, I am referring to the board game we all used to play when we were kids,but somehow or the other the game also evolved into a more complex and sensitive one ,as we humans do as we age.

Dating in our society is often considered a taboo, owing to all the negative stereotypes it has been attributed to over the years.Well some of you might beg to differ on the analogy that I have put forth in my post title,but if you look from another perspective you would realize it couldn't be more apt.

We as individuals take risks hoping that it may end up in our favour ,as in the board game we toss the dice hoping for the just the right number, because we know if that number is just little deviated ,we may end up facing worse consequences.And what's so interesting about this tossing the dice thing,each time we desire different number,same is the case with dating as we grow up ,our choices/desires evolve and we become more careful in making them.Because we know that if we end up getting the wrong number/person we’ll be going down i.e. regressing.these snakes are also a metaphor for bad people,ones who could possibly inflict harm upon us.

Furthermore,it can also be viewed as if sometimes we are delusional that we are progressing in this game of ‘Dating’,the person seems to be just perfect and life is going great.That is until you find out things about the person and all the perceived progress suddenly goes off in clouds of smoke and you go down the drain,back to square one.Has it ever happened to you? It has happened with me almost every time.Well probably it is true that people usually say,if its too good to be true,it probably is(false).However.the opposite may also be true,we may sometimes toss a die with little hope and it may land us on one of the ladders.These ladders in our lives are those chance encounters,in which we least expect to find our potential partners but somehow we do without much effort.

So, should we really be the sportsman and go on with our lives, or should we look back and ask ourselves ‘What the Hell was I thinking?’.Maybe I should take it slow and accept the fact that sometime we are bound to have some disappointments because it is matter expectations afterall.Conclusively,I realize that ‘Dating’ is actually game of courtship,which we play to assess the other person’s suitability to be our partner.we take risks,we expect things and sometimes we don't end up in the place we wanted to be at.But we all do and rather should play this game ,because you never know!

Politics 2009 Roundup

2010-01-02T17:03:00.001+05:00

31st December 2009 went off smoothly,We started the new year 2010 with a strike.Past 12 months were very eventful in terms of politics to say the least.From Politicians babbling stupid things under pressure of judgmental accusing journalists to citizens facing a never ending onslaught of inflation and crises.Indeed 2009 was in fact one of the most hard hitting and disappointing years in the history.

The year as usual started of with political big-wigs meeting up in the name of ‘Reconciliation’(such an overused word!) and turning out no result whatsoever.President Zardari was seen making well written but badly rehearsed speeches all around Europe,while flashing is ever so ugly devilish smile(I so cant stand his grin, just want to knock his teeth off).And by the result of it he ended up wasting more money on his trips than what he managed to beg from them.We saw him touring with his daughter to PM Brown’s house on Downing street in London,where his daughter was clad in very high fashion suit whereas his own fashion sense was surprisingly not as awful as ever.Then he also went to meet his French counterpart Mr Sarkozy,there he was seen sipping up with some Bordeaux wine and champagne .

Diva Sherry Rehman managed to remain out of limelight and we were all stuck with Mr Kaira as Information Minister,who also looked as if he was a having a midlife crisis.

Budget 2009-10 was quite a circus on its own,where the Minister Ms. Rabbani Khar made stumbling speech in a tranny-like voice that to me seemed more like a sarcastic joke.She wore beautiful emeralds and pearls which I thought she had mistook the ceremony for a Valima or something(lol).Speaker National Assembly ,Fahmida Mirza rocked the house with her sharp hairstyles tied as a bun(channeling BB) and was surprisingly quite an intelligent matriarch kind of figure.

PML-N Sharifs on the other side of the pond,were as diplomatic as Saudis(pun intended),being passionately opinionated a bout everything yet they didn't take a firm stance on anything.Nawaz Sharif was spotted wearing his signature white shalwar kameez and black waist coat,whereas his younger brother CM Shehbaz Sharif was all over wearing suave jackets and well put together suits(with news that he got it from Burberry or Harrods,hmmm fancy).

NWFP also lived another year namelessly,I wonder why his parents haven’t named him till now.Sadly,it saw two big internal displacements of people due to military operations and suicide bombing almost everyday.My salute to the people of NWFP,for managing to live with all that.

Baluchistan's political scene was as barren as its vast landscape.Provincial Assembly seemed empty and quite which is never a good sign for democracy.Its CM Mr.Raisani pulled of a Diva act by collapsing on 14th august ceremony .He already looks as if he is a zombie or something, too weird old just not right!.His clothes were as lackluster as his actions,he was seen in a very drab colored,baggy, ill fitted shalwar kameez just hanging there,Besides he really desperately needs a good shave/haircut!.Although I also spotted a very saucy lady in the Baluchistan provincial assembly who was wearing traditional colorful dress.Thumps up to my Sistah!;)me thinks that the much debated Baluchistan package should contain a hairstylist/makeover for all estranged baluch leaders.

Now my very own Sindh,throughout the year it was marred by demonstrations and strikes called on by people,who are not even respected by their own peons,just faceless stupid people with nothing to do.Beside that it was also clouded by wave of domestic violence and honour(less) killings as I like to call them.People celebrated holidays wearing sindhi caps, traditional block printed shawls,just because they felt a petty journalist said against their much loved Zardari.(which was practically taken out of context owing to low literacy rate).CM Sindh Qaim Ali Shah seemed like a leprechaun or dwarf out of Santa's clan wherever he went.Although he unintentionally brought laughter wherever whenever he spoke,especially his NFC speech in Lahore.It was quite embarrassing to respectful people.

People all around suffered a flour crisis ,then a sugar crisis and our very dearest(till death do us part) the electricity crisis.However ,In December we also saw the advent of new and improved formula for practically strangling citizens to death ‘The gas crisis’,as if inflation,unemployment and violence were not enough.

After the much hyped and well dressed demonstrations of our respectable Judiciary,CJ Iftikhar Chaudry and his blokes went all around screaming and yelling like a popular politician rallying for votes.He also gave EUNUCHS a separate gender,which i am still trying to figure out.But I seriously suggest him to fix his droopy eye by cosmetic surgery because he kind of looks drunk this way.

NRO was deemed ‘unconstitutional’,PPP leaders gave emotionally charged badly written speeches,MQM continued their ‘God save the government,whosoever it is’ philosophy .Altaf Bhai continued to do teleconferencing from UK and scores of people sat for long hours to listen to his CRAP.Lahore Karachi & Peshawar experienced bomb blasts as if it were fireworks on ‘Shab-e-Baraat’.People continued to die like insects on Mortien while politicians were partying all around the world

Sports had huge setback owing to bad law and order situation in country.Cricket matches/visits were cancelled but still players of other sports managed to go outside Pakistan and play well.Kudos to them!.In media,no good films were produced by Lollywood,although TV CHANNELS rolled out quite a few good serials and telefilms.New News channels like GEO and ARY sprouted up everywhere like mushrooms,providing the much needed entertainment to fun-starved people of Pakistan.

Truth Lies

2010-01-02T15:50:00.002+05:00

Truth lies.Interesting isn’t it.Two words that's it and yet it conveys so many meanings that almost each one of us would interpret/perceive it differently.So for starters I would begin with what these two words ‘Truth’ & ‘Lies’ mean to me.

Firstly,truth is relative.I am not sure If Einstein said that or it was something else.But yes things we deem as true may not be truth for somebody else or in some other circumstances.I am not talking about the reliability and validity dimensions.I am just talking in very crude raw terms.What I know is reality or truth for people is shaped by the experiences and beliefs they hold among other things.And things we may believe to be true today may somehow strangely become false/lies tomorrow.

Then the question may arise where should we look for truth then?.I say Inside ourselves.Others might say religion,society,science or whatever .But until and unless you look inside yourself ,no matter who you are or whatever you do .You are not going to find it.Because what you are looking for, Is right where you left it!..Just think about it.So,where does truth lie?Answer is it lies inside us.

Now the other perspective,when does the truth lie?I mean when does it tell falsehood/lies.As above mostly when we stop thinking rationally and are blinded by our emotions and feelings.Often when we are in love with issues,things and most importantly people.It is in instances such as these that truth deceives us and often it leads people to commit crimes of passion.Truth also lies when it is just for sake of fulfilling our self interests,when it no longer can be justified.Its like when pigeons close their eyes and pretend to be dead when they see an eagle coming towards them.

Lies are no less complicated,although they are more prevalent in our environment .Contrary to popular definition,for me Lies are something that you pretend to deceive someone else ,its not just plain falsehood.it can be an accusation, proclamation, or suggestion that contradicts reality or is not parallel to the truth.Which I think is something wrong …but Whatever.My point is lies maybe unjustified on moral grounds but in our society ends justify the means.So,lies are no longer lies as the dictionary uses to define it.

One of the most common interpretation of the title was it should have been ‘True Lies’.As lies are so acceptable and prevalent there are almost as good as the truth. We change stuff,we pretend things to exist or things been said/done etc in the past to make our present/future better .We all have our reasons for lying/rewriting history. Sometimes we need to provide ourselves alibis. Sometimes we wanna hurt someone who has hurt us and then there are times we just wanna spare ourselves embarrassment.If Pinocchio story turns out to be true, we would all have noses miles long. Of course, there are some who feel that to rewrite history is just another way to lie but what is history anyway but a set of lies agreed upon.

Yes, each new day brings with it a new set of lies. The worst are the ones we tell ourselves before we fall asleep. We whisper them in the dark, telling ourselves we're happy or that he’s happy,that we can change or that he will change his mind. We persuade ourselves we can live with our sins or that we can live without him. Yes. Each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves in a desperate, desperate hope that, in the morning to come, it will all be true.

Yet we must all remember that,”It's not enough to want the truth. You must know where to look for it, and the truth is elusive because it knows where to hide”

P.S. contains excerpts from DH script.